Self–esteem is asserting my right to think & say “I am OK” no matter what experience may be occurring in my life, no matter what my station of life !

WHO’S THE STRANGER IN THE MIRROR?

an essay into self image development

"Do not wish to be anything but what you are,

and try to be that perfectly." 

St. Francis De Sales

WHAT IS SELF-IMAGE?

Self-image is the personal view we have of ourselves. It is our mental image or self-portrait. Self-image is an internal dictionary that describes the characteristics of the self, including intelligent, beautiful, ugly, talented, selfish and kind. These characteristics form a collective representation of our assets and liabilities as we see them. They become the collection of beliefs or feelings we have about ourselves, our "self-perceptions." How we define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors and affects our emotional adjustment.

The difference between low self-esteem and poor self-image is this: self-esteem is based on subjective feelings that change according to the current environment; self-image is one's view of self, and beliefs about self, based on life experiences. The two can go hand-in-hand, but low self-esteem is a problem that is more easily and naturally fixed.

Patterns of self-esteem start very early in life. For example, a toddler who reaches a milestone experiences a sense of accomplishment that bolsters self-esteem. Learning to roll over after dozens of unsuccessful attempts teaches a baby a "can-do" attitude.

The concept of success following persistence starts early. As kids try, fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed, they develop ideas about their own capabilities. At the same time, they're creating a self-concept based on interactions with other people. This is why parental involvement is key to helping kids form accurate, healthy self-perceptions.

Self-esteem also can be defined as feelings of capability combined with feelings of being loved. A child who is happy with an achievement but does not feel loved may eventually experience low self-esteem. Likewise, a child who feels loved but is hesitant about his or her own abilities can also end up with low self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem comes when the right balance is reached.

According to eminent psychologist Prof Carl Rogers, everyone strives to become more like an “ideal self.” The closer one is to their ideal self, the happier one will be. Rogers also claimed that one factor in a person’s happiness is unconditional positive regard, or UPR, from others. UPR often occurs in close or familial relationships, and involves a consistent level of affection regardless of the recipient’s actions.

An important theory relating to self-concept is the self-categorization theory (SCT), which states that the self-concept consists of at least two “levels,” a personal identity and a social identity. In other words, people’s self-evaluations rely on both one’s self-perceptions and how one fits in socially. The self-concept can alternate rapidly between the personal and social identity.

HOW IS SELF-IMAGE DEVELOPED?

Self-image is a product of learning. Parents or caregivers make the greatest contribution to our self-image. They are mirrors reflecting back to us an image of ourselves. Our experiences with others such as teachers, friends and family add to the image in the mirror. Relationships reinforce what we think and feel about ourselves. The image we see in the mirror may be a real or distorted view of who we really are. Based on this view, we develop either a positive or a negative self-image. The strengths and weaknesses we learn as children are internalized and affect how we act as adults today.

We continually take in information and evaluate ourselves. How do I look? We have a mental image of our physical appearance. How am I doing? We have a performance image of our successes and failures. How important am I? We have an inner sense of our adequacy and value. With a positive self-image, we own our assets and potentials while being realistic about our liabilities and limitations. A negative self-image focuses on our faults and weaknesses, distorting failure and imperfections.

Self-image is important because how we think about ourselves directly affects how we feel about ourselves and how we respond to life. Self-image can determine the quality of our relationships with others. How we think and feel about ourselves influences the way we react or respond to life stressors. A positive self-image affects our physical, mental, social, emotional and spiritual well being.

4 MAJOR FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE SELF ESTEEM.

1) THE REACTION OF OTHERS. If people admire us, flatter us, seek out our company, listen attentively and agree with us we tend to develop a positive self-image. If they avoid us, neglect us, tell us things about ourselves that we don’t want to hear we develop a negative self-image.

2) COMPARISON WITH OTHERS. If the people we compare ourselves with (our reference group) appear to be more successful, happier, richer, better looking than ourselves we tend to develop a negative self image BUT if they are less successful than us our image will be positive.

3) SOCIAL ROLES. Some social roles carry prestige e.g. doctor, airline pilot, TV. presenter, premiership footballer and this promotes self-esteem. Other roles carry stigma. E.g. prisoner, mental hospital patient, refuse collector or unemployed person.

4) IDENTIFICATION. Roles aren’t just “out there.” They also become part of our personality i.e. we identity with the positions we occupy, the roles we play and the groups we belong to.

 

HOW CAN WE CREATE A POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE?

 

Self-image is not permanently fixed. Part of our self-image is dynamic and changing. We can learn to develop a healthier and more accurate view of ourselves, thus changing the distortions in the mirror. Self-image change is a process occurring over a lifetime. A healthy self-image starts with learning to accept and love ourselves. It also means being accepted and loved by others.

SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS – as habitual self-awareness?Obsession with self-image leads to a life of constant comparison.  As mentioned before, there will always be someone richer, thinner, more intelligent, more spiritual, more etc.  A life of constant comparison is a competition we can never win over the long run.

SPECIFIC STEPS TO FOSTER A POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE

The following are steps that you can take to begin fostering a positive image of yourself:

·        Take a self-image inventory

·        Define personal goals and objectives

·        Set realistic and measurable goals

·        Confront thinking distortions

·        Identify childhood labels

·        Stop comparing yourself to others

·        Develop your strengths

·        Learn to love yourself

·        Give positive affirmations

·        Remember that you are unique

·        Learn to laugh and smile

·        Remember how far you have come

Finding Professional Help

If you suspect you have low self-esteem, consider professional help. Family and child counselors can work to uncover underlying issues that prevent a child from feeling good about himself or herself.

My first session in coaching is always to  help you to learn to view yourself and the world positively. When people see themselves in a more realistic light, they can accept who they truly are. With a little help, every person can develop healthy self-esteem for a happier, more fulfilling life.

with best compliments

Dr Wilfred Monteiro- 

THE CEO's META COACH

www.synergymanager.net

is about helping you to become your "own true helmsman" helping you inner drive is the best the META COACH can do to get out of your self limitations

ARE YOU THE HELMSMAN

 OF YOUR LIFE ?

. Self motivation is the only way for you to get out of your current situation that you may not likeYou need to have the inner drive to keep your momentum in achieving your goals in life. Without self motivation, nothing else matters. You can hire the most expensive motivator to tell you all the things you already know.

But, if you fail to realize that there is no one else except you who can change your life, then you practically throw your money down the drain by going from one seminar to another in the hope that you can change your life. What matters most is your own action. You need to create and develop your own self motivation to bring you the energy and enthusiasm to pursue the dreams of your life..Self motivation is the only way for you to get out of your current situation that you may not like. You need to have the inner drive to keep your momentum in achieving your goals in life. Without self motivation, nothing else matters. You can hire the most expensive motivator to tell you all the things you already know. But, if you fail to realize that there is no one else except you who can change your life, then you practically throw your money down the drain by going from one seminar to another in the hope that you can change your life. What matters most is your own action. You need to create and develop your own self motivation to bring you the energy and enthusiasm to pursue the dreams of your life.

You need some kind of motivational drive in anything you do. At work, you may need your colleague or boss to motivate you to accomplish your task. At home, you may need your family member to share some motivational thoughts to keep you energetic in your pursuit of your dreams.

 They can sit with you all day trying to keep you motivated. Again, all these will be meaningless when you yourself fail to acknowledge that you need more lasting drive to really keep your enthusiasm, that is, your self motivation. This is the quality that will separate you from the rest of the people.

Most of you may be thinking that this is going to be a very daunting task as you do not have the slightest idea of how you are going to go about this. You will be surprised as how easy this can really be done. 

Here are the 10 things that you need to follow:

1. Do not worry if you make mistakes. Making mistakes is one way we can learn and improve in our life. There is no one that has never made any mistake. The most important thing here is you realize that you have made mistakes and do not repeat the same mistakes again. You learn more from mistakes you have made than any other way.

2. Feel happy about your life. Happiness generates more positive energy within you. This energy is important to keep you more optimistic and enthusiastic about your life. Happy people are always motivated to accomplish something in their life.

3. Get out of your comfort zone. You need to learn to get into unfamiliar surroundings to explore better opportunities. Do not just stick around with the same people, same known places, skills or work. Explore new things that will enhance your ability to achieve your goals and keep you stay motivated.

4. Think the unthinkable. Nothing will stop you from thinking of goals you want to achieve. You have to dream high in order to set high goals. Everything starts with a dream. Do not limit yourself in your goals and dreams.

5. Read and listen to inspirational materials. You have to start spending time reading motivational books and listening to inspirational tapes. But, you must also implement what you learn from your reading and listening. New things you learn from these exercises will give you excitement and energy to work harder toward achieving your goals.

6. Resolve problems instead of running away. Your ride to success destination will not be smooth all the time. You will face difficulties. Do not quit when you experience predicaments in your quest to achieve your dreams. Frustrations and setbacks naturally form as parts of your success venture.

7. Appreciate every moment of your life. Think of what your life really is as of now. Appreciate every moment you have currently. Thinking about the past or day dreaming about the future will not bring you anywhere. Appreciating your current conditions makes you feel much better and realize the need to move forward to achieve your goals.

8. Finish what you start. Once you have started something, finish it. Never leave what you do halfway regardless of the end result. This will train you to accomplish something out of things that you do.

9. Face challenges one at a time. Challenges come to us almost all the time. Take up one challenge at a time. Do not try to accumulate and face them at one go. As the challenges accumulate, you will only feel less motivated to face them and finally unable to complete anything.

10. Care less about what people say. You may hear a lot of bad things people say about you. Sometimes those bad comments may come from somebody close to you. As long as you fully know what you are doing to achieve your goals, you can let those comments fall into deaf ears. Thinking too much about what people say will only make you weaker and loose focus on your effort.

Of course, this list does not just stop here. To instill and develop your self motivation, there are more ways you can do. But, if you can really comprehend and take the appropriate actions just based on these 10 things, you will definitely see the results.

With best compliments

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

the meta+coach

As you work with your Journal, you will learn to tap this inner wisdom, and you will learn methods of growing that you have always thought possible ... but always seemed just out of reach. I

INTROSPECTIVE JOURNAL WRITING

key to self awareness &  personal growth

THE PEN IS THE TONGUE OF THE MIND
 -DR WILFRED MONTEIRO

My coaching sessions usually begin by asking my “student” to keep a journal for a month. I coach them with a few tips on writing a journal...Most don't need it ..they have to develop their own style and modus operandi by trial or error.

A Journal is  expressing yourself the way you are from the inside. Most people think of Journals as ‘diaries,’ and in a way they are. You will record important experiences in your Journal, because they affect you. You will want to explore, not only your thoughts and feelings, but your experiences. 


 “WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE… BETWEEN A JOURNAL AND A DIARY?

 It’s a question I get asked all the time. “What’s the difference between a journal and a diary? A diary is a report of what happened during the day—where you ate, who you met, the details leading up to the kerfluffle in the office, and who took whose side. It’s a bit like a newspaper about you.

A journal is completely different. A journal is about examining your life. It’s a soul blog or a GPS system for your inner self. “I’ve made this mistake before. . . and I always make it when I rushed for time and feel panicky. But I feel panicky because I know I’m headed for the same mistake.” Journals lead to insight, growth, and sometimes, achieving a goal.

But a Journal is not a diary only. Entries you make regarding your day, events you experienced and their effects on you are only springboards to a more fulfilling activity. You will delve beyond the experiences, events and emotions to discover what more essential teachings life holds for you.

OPEN TO YOUR OWN INNER WISDOM...

You are Wise. You have an inner source of wisdom that far exceeds what you think of as your limits.As you work with your Journal, you will learn to tap this inner wisdom, and you will learn methods of growing that you have always thought possible ... but always seemed just out of reach. It’s not just a book. It is a part of you; a place you can share your innermost thoughts, feelings and reflections.Your Journal is the repository of your experiences. It becomes a guide, a mirror ... a confidant and friend. It is important to have a Journal that is a statement of who you are.

BEGININEER GUIDE TO KEEPING A JOURNAL

Start with writing, Write in your journal freely. Do not worry about how it looks, or even grammar and spelling errors. Write how you want, what you want, and where you want. Writing a word, sentences, paragraphs or pages, journaling whatever you have to say that day, is just the right amount to write.. Set your journal where you will see it everyday, i.e., on your nightstand, at your desk, where you have coffee. This will help to remind you to journal.

Remember to use your journal for your benefit and well being, what ever that means to you. Keeping a journal is a powerful tool that you can give to yourself everyday.Plus, this creates time for you every day.Journal whatever is important for you to write about right then and there. I've kept journals of school-boy memories; my favourite sales call; my friends and their interactions; memories of my mother and father; regrets and triumphs I had in life and (creative visualization) my dreams for the future.

 Keeping your journal private. A journal is  useful to the person who keeps it. Dull to the contemporary who reads it ( it should never even be read by your wife) and invaluable to your grandchildren decades afterwards, who treasure it.

That can mean setting boundaries with those in your home, it may mean hiding it, or locking it away. You will have to make an individual decision about what that means to you.. Re-read your journal or not. Rarely do I re-read my journals, but when I have it has been very supportive. Some people always read what they have written. Again, it is a personal choice.

BEGIN TODAY

Whatever you have to say in your journal is perfect, because that is what is important to you right now. Practice is at the heart of experience, and only with experience will the development of these techniques become useful.BEGIN TODAY Find the right journal, book, for you: The right size, shape, color, lined or unlined.Find the right place for you to write: In bed, at your desk, on the kitchen table.Find the right time of day for you to write: Morning, noon or night. Your journal is a daily gift you give to yourself.

 best of luck 

Dr WILFRED MONTEIRO

The five principles are five practices, five avenues to achievement, and five source of knowledge. It is an old saying and a good rule that “Practice makes perfect,”

5 ETERNAL PRINCIPLES FOR SUCCESS

How does a man begin the building of a house? He first secures a plan of the proposed edifice, and then proceeds to build according to the plan, scrupulously following it in every detail, beginning with the foundation. 

Should he neglect the beginning - the beginning on a mathematical plan - his labour would be wasted, and his building, should it reach completion without tumbling to pieces, would be insecure and worthless. The same law holds good in any important work; the right beginning and first essential is a definite mental plan on which to build.

Nature will have no slipshod work, no slovenliness and she annihilates confusion, or rather, confusion is in itself annihilated. Order, definiteness, purpose, eternally prevail, and he who in his operations ignores these mathematical elements at once deprives himself of substantiality, completeness, happiness and success.

It is wise to know what comes first, and what to do first. To begin anything in the middle or at the end is to make a muddle of it. The athlete who began by breaking the tape would not receive the prize. He must begin by facing the starter and toeing the mark, and even then a good start is important if he is to win. The pupil does not begin with algebra and literature, but with counting and ABC.

 So in life – the businessmen who begin at the bottom achieve the more enduring success; and the religious men who reach the highest heights of spiritual knowledge and wisdom are they who have stooped to serve a patient apprenticeship to the humbler tasks, and have not scorned the common experiences of humanity, or overlooked the lessons to be learned from them.

The first things in a sound life - and therefore, in a truly happy and successful life - are right principles. Without right principles to begin with, there will be wrong practices to follow with, and a bungled and wretched life to end with. All the infinite variety of calculations which tabulate the commerce and science of the world, come out of the ten figures; all the hundreds of thousands of books which constitute the literature of the world, and perpetuate its thought and genius, are built up from the twenty-six letters. The greatest astronomer cannot ignore the ten simple figures. The profoundest man of genius cannot dispense with the twenty-six simple characters. The fundamentals in all things are few and simple: yet without them there is no knowledge and no achievement.

 The fundamentals - the basic principles - in life, or true living, are also few and simple, and to learn them thoroughly, and study how to apply them to all the details of life, is to avoid confusion, and to secure a substantial foundation for the orderly building up of an invincible character and a permanent success; and to succeed in comprehending those principles in their innumerable ramifications in the labyrinth of conduct, is to become a Master of Life.

The first principles in life are principles of conduct. To name them is easy. As mere words they are on all men’s lips, but as fixed sources of action, admitting of no compromise, few have learned them. In this short talk I will deal with five only of these principles.

 These five are among the simplest of the root principles of life, but they are those that come nearest to the everyday life, for they touch the artisan the businessman, the householder, the citizen at every point. Not one of them can be dispensed with but at severe cost, and he who perfects himself in their application will rise superior to many of the troubles and failures of life, and will come into these springs and currents of thought which flow harmoniously towards the regions of enduring success.

 The first of these principles is -

DUTY -

A much-hackneyed word, I know, but it contains a rare jewel for him who will seek it by assiduous application. The principle of duty means strict adherence to one’s own business, and just as strict non-interference in the business of others. The man who is continually instructing others, gratis, how to manage their affairs, is the one who most mismanages his own. Duty also means undivided attention to the matter in hand, intelligent concentration of the mind on the work to be done; it includes all that is meant by thoroughness, exactness, and efficiency. The details of duties differ with individuals, and each man should know his own duty better then he knows his neighbour’s, and better than his neighbour knows his; but although the working details differ, the principle is always the same. Who has mastered the demands of duty?

HONESTY 

is the next principle. It means not cheating or overcharging another. It involves the absence of all trickery, lying, and deception by word, look, or gesture. It includes sincerity, the saying what you mean, and the meaning what you say. It scorns cringing policy and shining compliment. It builds up good reputations, and good reputations build up good businesses, and bright joy accompanies well-earned success. Who has scaled the heights of Honesty?

ECONOMY 

IS the third principle. The conservation of one’s financial resources is merely the vestibule leading towards the more spacious chambers of true economy. It means, as well, the husbanding of one’s physical vitality and mental resources. It demands the conservation of energy by the avoidance of enervating self-indulgences and sensual habits. It holds for its follower strength, endurance, vigilance, and capacity to achieve. It bestows great power on him who learns it well. Who has realized the supreme strength of Economy?

GENEROUSITY 

 follows economy. It is not opposed to it. Only the man of economy can afford to be generous. The spendthrift, whether in money, vitality, or mental energy, wasted so much on his own miserable pleasures as to have none left to bestow upon others. The giving of money is the smallest part of liberality. There is a giving of thoughts, and deeds, and sympathy, the bestowing of goodwill, the being generous towards calumniators and opponents. It is a principle that begets a noble, far-reaching influence. It brings loving friends and staunch comrades, and is the foe of loneliness and despair. Who has measured the breadth of Liberality?

SELF–CONTROL 

is the last of these five principles, yet the most important. Its neglect is the cause of vast misery, innumerable failures, and tens of thousands of financial, physical, and mental wrecks. Show me the businessman who loses his temper with a customer over some trivial matter, and I will show you a man who, by that condition of mind, is doomed to failure. If all men practised even the initial stages of self-control, anger, with its consuming and destroying fire, would be unknown. The lessons of patience, purity, gentleness, kindness, and steadfastness, which are contained in the principle of self-control, are slowly learned by men, yet until they are truly learned a man’s character and success are uncertain and insecure. Where is the man who has perfected himself in Self-Control? Where he may be, he is a master indeed.

The five principles are five practices, five avenues to achievement, and five source of knowledge. It is an old saying and a good rule that “Practice makes perfect,” and he who would make his own the wisdom which is inherent in those principles, must not merely have them on his lips, they must be established in his heart. To know them and receive what they alone can bring, he must do them, and give them out in his actions

META+COACH MODULE ON EXECUTIVE SKILLS ON PROBLEM SOLVING - THE GIST

AN EASY GUIDE TO PROBLEM SOLVING

 @ LIFE & WORK

In the largest sense, society is breaking into two classes: The first class are people who know how to think. These people realize that most problems are open to examination and creative solution. If a problem appears in the lives of these people, their intellectual training will quickly lead them to a solution or an alternative statement of the problem. These people are the source of the most important product in today's economy — ideas. The second class, the vast majority of people who cannot think for themselves. We can  call these people "idea consumers" — metaphorically speaking, they wander around in a gigantic open-air mall of facts and ideas. The content of their experience is provided by television, the Internet and other shallow data pools. These people believe collecting images and facts makes them educated and competent, and all their experiences reinforce this belief. The central, organizing principle of this class is that ideas come from somewhere else, from magical persons, geniuses, "them."

It seems like every time we turn around to serious thinking, we have to make more decisions. The question is, "Are you a good decision maker?" If you aren't (or don't think you are), there is no need to worry. Decision-making is a skill that can be learned by anyone. Although some people may find this particular skill easier than others, everyone applies a similar process.

There are two basic kinds of decisions: those that are arrived at using a specific process and those that just happen. Although both kinds of decisions contain opportunities and learning experiences, there are definite advantages to using a specific process to make a decision. The most obvious advantage is the reduced level of stress you will experience.

Wise decisions are decisions that are made using a definite process. They are based on the values and perceptions of the decision-maker and include carefully considered alternatives and options along with periodic reassessments of the decision and its effects. Wise decisions may or may not follow societal norms and expectations. However, they are right for the decider based on what she knows at that point in time about both her options as well as herself.

 

STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO PROBLEM SOLVING & DECISION MAKING

 

1. Define the problem

This is often where people struggle. They react to what they think the problem is. Instead, seek to understand more about why you think there's a problem.

Defining the problem: (with input from yourself and others)
Ask yourself and others, the following questions:
a. What can you see that causes you to think there's a problem?
b. Where is it happening?
c. How is it happening?
d. When is it happening?
e. With whom is it happening? (HINT: Don't jump to "Who is causing the problem?" When we're stressed, blaming is often one of our first reactions. To be an effective manager, you need to address issues more than people.)
f. Why is it happening?
g. Write down a five-sentence description of the problem in terms of "The following should be happening, but isn't ..." or "The following is happening and should be: ..." As much as possible, be specific in your description, including what is happening, where, how, with whom and why. (It may be helpful at this point to use a variety of research methods. Also see .

Defining complex problems:
a. If the problem still seems overwhelming, break it down by repeating steps a-f until you have descriptions of several related problems.

Verifying your understanding of the problems:
a. It helps a great deal to verify your problem analysis for conferring with a peer or someone else.

Prioritize the problems:
a. If you discover that you are looking at several related problems, then prioritize which ones you should address first.
b. Note the difference between "important" and "urgent" problems. Often, what we consider to be important problems to consider are really just urgent problems. Important problems deserve more attention. For example, if you're continually answering "urgent" phone calls, then you've probably got a more "important" problem and that's to design a system that screens and prioritizes your phone calls.

Understand your role in the problem:
a. Your role in the problem can greatly influence how you perceive the role of others. For example, if you're very stressed out, it'll probably look like others are, too, or, you may resort too quickly to blaming and reprimanding others. Or, you are feel very guilty about your role in the problem, you may ignore the accountabilities of others.

2. Look at potential causes for the problem

a. It's amazing how much you don't know about what you don't know. Therefore, in this phase, it's critical to get input from other people who notice the problem and who are effected by it.
b. It's often useful to collect input from other individuals one at a time (at least at first). Otherwise, people tend to be inhibited about offering their impressions of the real causes of problems.
c. Write down what your opinions and what you've heard from others.
d. Regarding what you think might be performance problems associated with an employee, it's often useful to seek advice from a peer or your supervisor in order to verify your impression of the problem.
e.Write down a description of the cause of the problem and in terms of what is happening, where, when, how, with whom and why.

3. Identify alternatives for approaches to resolve the problem

a. At this point, it's useful to keep others involved (unless you're facing a personal and/or employee performance problem). Brainstorm for solutions to the problem. Very simply put, brainstorming is collecting as many ideas as possible, then screening them to find the best idea. It's critical when collecting the ideas to not pass any judgment on the ideas -- just write them down as you hear them.

4. Select an approach to resolve the problem

When selecting the best approach, consider:
a. Which approach is the most likely to solve the problem for the long term?
b. Which approach is the most realistic to accomplish for now? Do you have the resources? Are they affordable? Do you have enough time to implement the approach?
c. What is the extent of risk associated with each alternative?
The nature of this step, in particular, in the problem solving process is why problem solving and decision making are highly integrated.

5. Plan the implementation of the best alternative (this is your action plan)

a. Carefully consider "What will the situation look like when the problem is solved?"
b. What steps should be taken to implement the best alternative to solving the problem? What systems or processes should be changed in your organization, for example, a new policy or procedure? Don't resort to solutions where someone is "just going to try harder".
c. How will you know if the steps are being followed or not? (these are your indicators of the success of your plan)
d. What resources will you need in terms of people, money and facilities?
e. How much time will you need to implement the solution? Write a schedule that includes the start and stop times, and when you expect to see certain indicators of success.
f. Who will primarily be responsible for ensuring implementation of the plan?
g. Write down the answers to the above questions and consider this as your action plan.
h. Communicate the plan to those who will involved in implementing it and, at least, to your immediate supervisor.
An important aspect of this step in the problem-solving process is continually observation and feedback.

6. Monitor implementation of the plan

Monitor the indicators of success:
a. Are you seeing what you would expect from the indicators?
b. Will the plan be done according to schedule?
c. If the plan is not being followed as expected, then consider: Was the plan realistic? Are there sufficient resources to accomplish the plan on schedule? Should more priority be placed on various aspects of the plan? Should the plan be changed?

7. Verify if the problem has been resolved or not

One of the best ways to verify if a problem has been solved or not is to resume normal operations in the organization. Still, you should consider:
a. What changes should be made to avoid this type of problem in the future? Consider changes to policies and procedures, training, etc.
b. Lastly, consider "What did you learn from this problem solving?" Consider new knowledge, understanding and/or skills.
c. Consider writing a brief memo that highlights the success of the problem solving effort, and what you learned as a result. Share it with your supervisor, peers and subordinates.

 

 

With best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

  

META+COACH MODULE ON EXECUTIVE DECISION MAKING - A NEW INSIGHT

Common Decision-Making Mistakes

Each day we are faced with situations in life that require us to make choices. Some of these choices are easy, and at times, some of them can be difficult. Easy decisions consist of things like what clothing you should wear; most people choose what to wear based on the season of the year, the weather of the day, and where they might be going. Other easy decisions consist of things like what to eat, what movie to see, and what television programs to watch.  

Decisions that seem to be the most difficult are those that require a deeper level of thought. Examples of difficult decisions consist of things like where to attend college, what career path would be best, and/or whether or not to marry and start a family. These types of decisions are difficult because they are life changing decisions; they shape who we are, and they shape our future.

Making good decisions is a method that must be learned. It is not something with which we are innately born, but merely a step by step process that is usually ascertained from life experience. Most adults know that experience can be a costly, ineffective teacher that teaches more bad habits than good; and because decisions can vary so obviously from one situation to the next, the experience gained from making one important decision is often times of little or no use when another decision-making problem arises.

A NEW INSIGHT

As much as we would like to believe that we do not have any prejudices or biases, the fact is that everyone does. The more aware you are of yours, the better off you will be. The main reason everyone has their own way of viewing the world is because our brains simply cannot take in everything, at least not on a conscious level.

Have you ever tried to learn ten new things all at once? If you have, you know that it is very easy to become overwhelmed and to end up learning very little at all. That is because of the way the brain works. Our brains screen and categorize information so that we can understand the world around us without being overwhelmed by it. We get into trouble when we fail to realize that many of the perceptions we hold are based on what society (i.e., parents, teachers, the church, all institutions, etc.) teach us, not what we actually know to be true.

 

Below is a list of the most common decision-making mistakes. By learning about these pitfalls now, you will be able to avoid them in the future.

·         Relying too much on "expert" information. 

Oftentimes, people have a tendency to place too much emphasis on what "experts" say. Remember, experts are only human and have their own set of biases and prejudices just like the rest of us. By seeking information from a lot of different sources, you will get much better information than you would if you focused all of your energy on only one source.

·         Overestimating the value of information received from others. 

People have a tendency to overestimate the value of certain individuals in our society and underestimate the value of others. For instance, experts, authority figures, parents, high status groups, people who seem to have it all together, and people we respect have a way of swaying our opinion based simply on the fact that we believe they know more than we do. When you find yourself doing this, ask yourself: Do they know as much about this problem as I do? Are their values the same as mine? Have they had any personal experiences with a problem like mine? In other words, keep their opinions in perspective.

·         Underestimating the value of information received from others. 

Whether we realize it or not, we also have a tendency to discount information we receive from individuals such as children, low status groups, women (yes, believe it!), the elderly, homemakers, blue-collar workers, artists, etc. This is unfortunate since a lot of times these groups can paint a good picture of the "other side" of your problem. In other words, these groups may use entirely different values and perceptions in their answers to your questions. The result is a bigger picture perspective of what the issues really are. Just make a note that if you find yourself discounting the information you receive from anyone, make sure you ask yourself "why".

·         Only hearing what you want to hear or seeing what you want to see. 

Try this exercise. Ask a friend to look around them and make note of everything that is green. Now, have them close their eyes. Once their eyes are closed, ask them to tell you what around them is red. Almost everyone you ask will not be able to tell you what was red because they were focusing on what was green. Our perceptions work the same way. If we have expectations or biases that we are not aware of, we tend to see what we want to see. Likewise, if someone tries to tell us something we do not want to hear, we simply do not hear them. This is a common mistake that many people make. The key is to be aware of your own prejudices and expectations while at the same time staying open to everything that comes your way.

·         Not listening to your feelings or gut reactions. 

Have you ever made a decision only to have it be followed by a major stomach ache or headache? This is your body talking to you. Our brains are constantly taking in more information than we can consciously process. All of this extra information gets buried in our subconscious. Although we may not be able to retrieve this information, our body stores it for us until it is needed. In moments when we need to make a decision, our bodies provide clues to the answer through feelings or gut reactions. Unfortunately, our society teaches us to ignore these feelings. But by tuning into your intuition, you will find that you will make much better decisions in the long run. 

With best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

An Uncertain World means you need to give up your need for control.

THE TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADER IN AN 

UNPREDICTABLE WORLD

VUCA  is a buzz word and rightly so for today. it stands for four forces ruling us today. Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity And Ambiguity Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be open to a new idea?” . What difference will that make to your mental horizon?

An Uncertain World means you need to give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.”  Said Lao Tzu the ancient Chinese sage. A Complex and Ambiguous World means you need to give up any resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move to the next level of sucess. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. Follow your conscience on what’s right for you  and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls

With best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro