EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & THE 21CENTURY WORKPLACE

 

Why EQ Matters in the Workplace

Why is emotional intelligence such a valued workplace skill? In a survey of hiring managers, almost 75% of respondents suggested that they valued an employee's EQ more than their IQ.

Emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a valuable skill that helps improve communication, management, problem-solving, and relationships within the workplace. It is also a skill that researchers believe can be improved with training and practice.

People With High EQ

• Make better decisions and solve problems
• Keep cool under pressure
• Resolve conflicts
• Have greater empathy
• Listen, reflect, and respond to constructive criticism

People With Low EQ

• Play the role of the victim or avoid taking responsibility for errors
• Have passive or aggressive communication styles
• Refuse to work as a team  
• Are overly critical of others or dismiss others' opinions

 

HOW CAN MANAGER  improve EQ?

It takes consistent effort and hard work to be more focused on your and others’ emotional well-being. Here are a few good places to start:

Practice understanding your own emotions.

Before you can understand and empathize with another person, you have to understand yourself. Keep a journal and regularly jot down how you’re feeling and why. Make small, measurable goals to increase your self-management, such as minimizing frustrated outbursts.

Connect with employees on a personal level.

When you demonstrate a willingness to help your employees and to recognize their efforts, you are leading with emotional intelligence, showing that you care about them as individuals. This act of caring builds trust between leaders and their employees.

Empathy has long been a soft skill that’s overlooked as a performance indicator. Our research, however, has shown that today’s successful leaders are showing kindness in the workplace and are more “person-focused,” making them better able to work well with people from varying teams, departments, countries, cultures, and backgrounds.

Unlock motivations.

As important as compensation and benefits are, we know they are not the only things that matter when it comes to keeping employees productive and engaged. These benefits are a part of a larger motivation equation.

Most of the time, understanding what motivates your employees is as easy as asking them — and really listening to their responses. Once you understand your employees’ motives, you can boost employee engagement and motivation, increase job satisfaction, and improve retention

Ask more questions and really listen. 

Asking questions is one of the best ways to learn about the people around you. But only if you listen. Try to ask employees questions such as, “How are you really doing?” or, “What can I do to make your job easier?” Listen to their

When you have one-on-ones, make sure employees are talking 80% of the time and you’re only talking 20% of the time. Employees need to feel comfortable opening up to you.

Listen closely and withhold judgement.

It all starts with having strong active listening skills, and striving to try to see the world as others see it. Really listen to, and consider, their perspective, keeping your attitude as open as possible to create a safe space for sharing and a sense of psychological safety at work.

Work to understand the other person’s feelings and reflect them back to the person. As you listen, pay close attention to the values and emotions behind the facts themselves. Communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings to assure people that their feelings and values are really understood.

 

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Seek to understand more about others and yourself.

Leading with emotional intelligence requires managers to harness the power of their employees’ diverse experiences and consider people’s different lived experiences to help their teams achieve their full potential.

Your ability to understand where your employees are coming from — including their social identity and how their experiences may have informed their perspectives — demonstrates a willingness to see the world as others see it, without standing in judgment.

Even if you have high emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness, it’s not easy to get to know every employee below the surface. It’s challenging to see the world as others see it and to accept a variety of perspectives in a nonjudgmental way.

Building those skills requires understanding how aspects of identity can affect the way you lead, and a willingness to learn and recognize your own emotional triggers and weaknesses. Leader effectiveness is constrained or amplified based on how well leaders understand themselves, their awareness of how others view them, and how they navigate the resulting interactions.So, intentionally increasing your self-awareness is sure to help you improve your emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness. 

Help employees achieve their goals. Even if you struggle to understand the feelings employees have, you can still help them do what matters to them. If your employees are passionate or interested in any sort of work-related goal or improvement, do what you can to help them accomplish it.

Ask for and welcome feedback. As a leader, you need to understand how you’re perceived by others. Three-hundred-sixty-degree feedback is a great way to see what you’re good at and where you can improve.

 

A FINAL WORD

Emotional intelligence is central to the success of any organization, team and individual leader – and can be an especially beneficial characteristic during challenging times. Managers and leaders need to learn how to really listen to, empathize with, and support their employees. As we strive to improve our emotional intelligence, we will be better leaders.

One other reason that leading with emotional intelligence is so important: when an entire organization is full of people leading with emotional intelligence front and center, it can create a stronger culture.

Conversations, even hard ones, are more honest, productive, and respectful. Everyone feels a strong sense of belonging and ownership. Empathy and inclusion are particularly imperative for organizational diversity initiatives to be successful.

So, are you and your organization investing in developing the critical “soft skill” of leading with emotional intelligence?

With best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

FOUNDER META+COACH MODEL

META+COACH grooms the META+MANAGER -

 OWN A 36 HOURS WORKDAY

There are lots of great tips for time management. Here’s one of the more comprehensive lists available. Just look for the tips you need, and note the rest to add to your general management training knowledge. Dive deeper on some of these tips, if necessary, by doing a few Google searches to gather more detailed advice on the points that apply to your needs.

1. Set Specific Goals.

To achieve your goals, you need to decide what they are. Then, you can more easily filter out all the distractions, quit spending time on low-value pursuits and time-wasters that eat up your time, and apply a more centred perspective to deciding what’s worth adding to your schedule.

2. Organise Your Schedule.

Use your calendar for recording appointments, tracking deadlines, blocking time for various work, and other scheduled tasks and external activities. Decide on the best dates to schedule various types of activities. Add a running To Do List, to carry forward from day to day, and eliminate those tasks in order of priority.

3. Plan Your Week in Advance.

Having a plan laid out at the start of the week allows you greater flexibility to manage your days. It gives you a generally set framework of priorities, making it easier to visualise and utilise your total bandwidth.

4. Plan Your Day in Advance.

At the start of your day, list everything you want to accomplish TODAY. Pull items from your calendar and your To Do List, to populate your TODAY list, or just highlight items on the running To Do List.

5. Give Up on the Multitasking Myth.

Harvard Business Review offers insights dispelling the virtues of multitasking as a management methodology. Don’t get swept up in the typical sense of over-confidence in an ability to do many tasks simultaneously and deliver quality.

6. Declutter Your Environment.

A tidy workspace can’t solve all problems, but it can make it easier to find your stuff. That’s a timesaver. It’s okay to do it gradually, a drawer here, a closet there. Or, just take the plunge and shape things up.

7. Give Up on Dreams of Perfection.

Know when the project is completed. Nudge toward perfection only to the extent that makes sense in terms of the amount of time you’re spending. At some point, the law of diminishing returns takes hold, which means you’re crossing the threshold of giving more than the total value you’re getting back.

8. Don’t Fixate on Small Details.

Don’t lose sight of the big picture of your mission. Don’t spin your wheels, mired in irrelevant details from any sources. Cut through the minutia and peripheral noise, and keep your eye on the prize.

9. Limit Time for Various Tasks.

Decide how much time you need to spend on various tasks. Setting some time limits can increase your efficiency, and it can help you plan for potential problems and plan a strategy for solving those.

10. Don’t Wait to Feel Inspired Before Acting.

Keep perspective. You don’t need to feel like doing every task you need to do, in order to do it. Recognise your uninspired attitude toward an undesirable task, and just reject its power to prevent you from moving forward. To borrow a phrase, “Just do it!”

11. Figure Out When You’re Best at Doing Your Hardest Tasks.

Current wisdom says do your most challenging tasks in the morning, when you’re most rested and ready for challenges of the day. This arrangement is likely to work best for you too. But, if you find you’re better off starting with getting lots of smaller tasks out of the way and fielding incoming issues, then ramp up for the big challenges through the morning and maybe do those right after lunch.

12. Eliminate Distractions.

Turn off devices, if necessary, limit email correspondence, if you find it’s cutting too much into your productivity. Eliminate other distractions.  Think about what conditions seem to help you stay on track, and try to set those up to help you manage your daily routine. See Entrepreneur magazine’s great list of suggestions for eliminating distractions at work.

13. Give up Bad Habits.

Bad habits waste time. Being stuck on playing games, popping between social sites, too much bar time, all take time you could use to do what you really love, pursue your dreams. Turn off alerts for social posts during work hours, limit the drinking time, and focus on getting what you want.

14. Do Daily Health & Fitness Activities.

Exercising every day leads to a better balanced life. Cut out toxic activities, foods and drinks, and you’ll multiply your stamina and focus, which enables better management of everything, including your time.

15. Decide What You Want to Accomplish, Before Meeting.

Determine what you need to accomplish in a meeting before it starts. You’ll save yourself and everyone in attendance from wasting valuable time, by being able to zero in on your goals for the meeting.

16. Get a Good Mentor for Guidance.

Rely on someone who has done and seen it all. Having someone to ask for advice and perspective can make it easier to keep yourself on track, keep your priorities in order, and manage your time wisely.

17. Take Mini Breaks Between Some Tasks.

The human brain has the capacity to focus efficiently for around an hour and a half without compromised quality of concentration. So, break for a few minutes every 90 minutes or so, to maximise your total productivity over the course of the day.

18. Make Good Use of Wait Time.

We all get stuck on hold, waiting in lines at airports, sitting in waiting rooms, hovering to talk to a decision-maker, and so on. You may have wished you could have all that time back. You can! Use it to return phone calls, answer emails with your phone, stretch, do isometric exercises, meditate, read reports or articles on your phone, catch up on news, listen to podcasts, etc.

19. Organise Your Email Files.

Waste less time in email by archiving, creating action labels, applying filters to auto-assign labels to incoming emails based on keywords or sender names.

20. Expand Your Mind.

Spend some time doing things outside your comfort zone. This is an essential practice embraced by most great leaders. It stimulates creativity, builds confidence, and expands perspective, all conducive to more creative time management and life skills.

21. Get Good Sleep.

Get sufficient sleep. Correct issues in your sleep environment to create a space that is conducive to sleeping well. Working without sufficient amounts and quality of sleep naturally negatively impacts productivity and quality over time and leads to burn out.

22. Schedule Down Time.

Remove yourself from fast-paced engagement, and use quiet time to support your creative processes. Find a serene place to close your eyes and meditate, or just to sit and reflect and generate insights.

23. Know When to Say No.

Time is a limited commodity. Don’t spend any of it on activities that don’t make sense for your mission. Learn to say, “I’ll check my calendar and let you know.” That will give you time to decide what to fit in.

24. Don’t be Oppressed by Your Phone.

If you are in a position to let your phone ring and go to voicemail, then do so when necessary. Don’t feel compelled to take every call and answer every email instantly. Turn off ringers and email alerts, if necessary.

25. Enjoy Your Life.

Forget obsessing about what’s not getting done each day. Just, stick with it, work at a steady pace, and insist on balance between work and personal time. Remember the sage old advice, “It’s about the journey…”

26. Delegate and Outsource.

Train others as necessary, and assign tasks that don’t require your personal involvement to get done well. Lightening your workload by delegating frees you to focus on more appropriate uses of your time.

27. Remember the 80-20 Principle.

The famed Pareto Principle, a.k.a. the “80-20 Rule” asserts that 80 percent of the results of your efforts comes from just 20 percent of your actions. Applying this principle, at least in some ratio, if not necessarily 80/20, you can probably eliminate a number of tasks from your list and be as, or more productive.

28. Maintain Your Calendar Online.

Having your calendar online affords you the unmatched flexibility to access it from any networked device, update it, share it, etc. This lets you avoid the time-consuming inconvenience of having to postpone scheduling until you can access your calendar later, then more spend time to follow-up with people to pin down dates and times.

29. Do Some Telecommuting.

We all feel the crush of time being lost during long commutes in traffic. If possible, consider telecommuting once or twice a week, to gain back many hours per year to add to your productivity.

30. Consume Inspiring Materials.

When you need a lift, listen to an inspiring seminar recording on YouTube. It can help you get pumped up for the next round of demands on your time and focus, during a fatiguing series of challenges.

31. Handle Like Tasks Together.

Schedule a block of time to handle emails, phone calls, approving batchable documents, reviewing reports, and other tasks that are similar. Task types require special ways of thinking. Reduce the collective time and energy it takes for your brain to keep readjusting .

32. Think Quality Over Quantity.

Don’t spread yourself too thin. Determine what really needs to be done, and concentrate only on the things that need your personal attention. Then, you can better focus on creative solutions and quality.

33. Develop Self-Control.

Work on your willpower. Feeling your sense of greater power over your own will can significantly improve your time management, overall professional performance, health and wellbeing, stress level, quality of life, and happiness. For example, turn off your phone, if you can’t stop checking social pages.

34. Save Copies of Your To Do Lists.

At the end of the week, revisit your spent To Do Lists, to appreciate your accomplishments, and take a little self-motivation from all you did to advance your mission. Congratulate yourself. Celebrate a little.

35: Practice Until You Build Good Habits.

Start using the time management tips above that pertain to your own leadership development needs. Keep practicing these, until you habituate them. Form a routine, a time management system, that you like and can maintain.

META+COACH and habit modification

Repetitive behavioural patterns cut their routes into the brain’s neural pathways. Fortunately, through repeating different behaviours, new habits can be formed. With commitment, even long-time habits can be replaced by better ones.

Improving time management skills is an ideal goal for undertaking with this rehabituation approach in mind. Decide on some simple but major changes you want to make in your way of managing your time, and commit to repeating your new time management behaviour until doing it the new way comes naturally to you. One-on-one leadership coaching may be your best available approach to habituating better time management habits.

Even the best leaders put things off sometimes, but chronic procrastination is a deeper problem that is likely to reflect self-control issues. Some procrastinators argue that they perform best when under pressure, but research indicates that that is typically false. Decisional procrastinators have difficulty making decisions. Perfectionists may delay facing the inevitable lack of perfection in their finished work. Thrill-seekers may squeeze themselves into a tight timeline, to experience an adrenaline rush. Classic avoiders may put off work, in fear of failure or fear of inability to sustain success that they might achieve.

Understanding why people procrastinate, have self-control issues, or motivation issues is the first step to improving your time management if you are struggling with leadership decision-making, or any of these issues leading to procrastination.

WAY FORWARD

Ultimately, time management comes down to being clear on what you really want to accomplish. Really wanting it is the natural generator of motivation. From there, it’s about weighing your priorities, to ensure that the way you spend your time is going to get you to your goal. That means eliminating non-priorities that are sucking time from your limited supply of it. Ask yourself  which items on your To Do list can make a meaningful difference for you, which can’t be delegated, which can wait, and which should really be discarded.

Be careful about what you commit to, and prioritise honouring the commitments you do make. Keeping your promises protects your relationships and your reputation, both of which are indispensable for a successful career and a rewarding life that you can thoroughly enjoy.

Practice finding what’s positive in every negative circumstance. Train yourself to look past obstacles to find solutions. Above all, stay focused on your goals. Keep thinking about them and talking about them. Visualise yourself accomplishing what you’ve set out to achieve. These are the ways of a driven individual. They’re conducive to a mindset that cuts through irrelevancies and stays fixed on what’s important, and sees the way to get it done, and does it.

 

MY MIND CHURNING & SOUL SEARCHING QUESTIONS TO IMPROVE YOU EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

 

In our never-ending pursuit of happiness and fulfilment, we often overlook the importance of self-reflection and deep conversations with those around us. Introspection can be uncomfortable and challenging, as it requires us to confront our fears, weaknesses, and insecurities, which can be daunting.

To get you started on your journey of self-reflection and personal growth, I have  compiled a list of questions that make you think about your life, values, and beliefs, and to challenge you to consider new perspectives and ideas with regard to emotional intelligence

HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND  & LABEL YOUR EMOTIONS ?

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur.  Extensive research shows that only 36% of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

DO YOU KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES IN EI ?

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

DO YOU SEEK ALWAYS PERFECTION VERSUS EFFICENCY ?

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you've achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

DO YOU PARDON YOURSELF FOR PAST  MISTAKES ?

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

DO YOU ALLOW OTHERS TO DEFINE YOU?

Though you believe intimate relations are a rich sentiment You Won’t Let  ANYONE   DEFINE YOU . When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

DO YOU VALUE BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS & FRIENDSHIPS ARE AN IMPORTANT SUCCESS FACTOR IN LIFE?

On one hand, loving others is an important aspect of being human. When we love others, we experience a sense of connection and purpose that can bring meaning to our lives. Loving others allows us to be selfless and to give of ourselves in ways that can have a profound impact on the world around us. It can also bring us a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction.

On the other hand, being loved is also important. When we are loved, we feel a sense of belonging and acceptance that can be deeply reassuring. Being loved can help us feel more confident, secure, and supported. It can also bring us a sense of comfort and joy.

So, is it more important to love or be loved? The answer may vary depending on individual perspectives and experiences. However, it's important to note that love is not a one-way street. It's not a matter of choosing between loving others or being loved by them. In fact, both aspects of love are interconnected and equally important.

Love is one of the most powerful emotions that we can experience as human beings. It can bring us immense joy, but it can also make us vulnerable and open to pain. Allowing another person to truly love us requires a deep level of trust and vulnerability. But what does it mean to allow someone to truly love you?

At its core, allowing another person to truly love you means being open and honest with them about your thoughts, feelings, and desires. It means being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be seen for who you truly are, flaws and all. It requires a level of trust that the other person will accept you and love you for who you are, without judgment or criticism.

In order to allow someone to truly love you, it's important to let go of any fears or insecurities that may be holding you back. Love yourself first. This means being willing to take risks, being open to new experiences, and being honest about your needs and desires. It also means being willing to let the other person in and being receptive to their love and affection.

DO YOU WORK TO CULTIVATE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND INTIMACY?

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

Effective communication is the foundation of healthy relationships and intimacy. It's important to express oneself clearly, listen actively to one's partner, and avoid making assumptions. Good communication requires honesty, transparency, and the ability to understand and respect each other's perspectives. By communicating effectively, partners can establish trust, mutual understanding, and intimacy.

Trust is another crucial element of healthy relationships and intimacy. Trust is built over time through consistent actions that show reliability, honesty, and respect. It's essential to honour commitments, be transparent, and avoid behaviours that erode trust, such as lying, cheating, or breaking promises. By building trust, partners can create a sense of safety, security, and intimacy.

GUIDE FOR DEEPEER  SELF-ANALYSIS

These questions are just a starting point, and we encourage you to come up with your own thought-provoking questions as well. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers - the goal is to engage in self-reflection and honest exploration of your thoughts and feelings. By asking yourself these difficult questions and engaging in deep conversations with yourself or your coach, you can gain greater clarity about your life and ultimately, increase your overall sense of happiness and fulfilment.

 

these deep questions offer a window into the complexities and nuances of the human experience. From philosophical questions about the nature of truth and reality to questions about the role of tradition or spirituality in our lives, these prompts invite us to explore the world and ourselves in new and meaningful ways.

Through reflection and introspection, we can gain a deeper understanding of our values, beliefs, and priorities, and make more informed choices about how to live our lives. These questions challenge us to confront our assumptions and biases and to consider alternative perspectives and ways of being.

However, taking the time to pause and ask ourselves thought-provoking questions can have a profound impact on our personal growth and development. By asking ourselves difficult and challenging questions, we can gain a deeper understanding of who we are, what we want out of life, and how we can achieve our goals.

Take a deep breath and stay calm:

Hard-hitting questions can be uncomfortable or even triggering. Taking a deep breath and staying calm can help you stay focused and respond in a more productive way.

Reflect on the question:

Take a moment to think about the question and what it means to you. Consider your values, beliefs, and experiences that may be relevant to the question.

Consider multiple perspectives:

Hard-hitting questions may challenge our assumptions and biases. Try to approach the question from different angles to gain a broader perspective.

Be honest:

There are no wrong answers when it comes to hard-hitting questions. Be honest about your thoughts and feelings, even if they may be uncomfortable or unpopular.

 

SUMMING UP - What is the most important lesson you've learnt?

While there are no easy answers to these questions, the act of pondering so many things can be a deeply transformative experience. By engaging in this type of self-reflection, we can cultivate greater empathy, curiosity, and self-awareness, and begin to forge a deeper connection with ourselves and the world around us.

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, it builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. As your brain reinforces the use of these new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors die off. Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it.

 With best compliments

Dr Wilfred Monteiro