REBT THERAPY EXTENDED # LET GO OF 9 COMMON IRRATIONAL BELIEFS

 

1. YOU NEED TO BE CONSISTANT ... have to be who you used to be.

When times get tough, our worst battle is often between what we remember and what we presently feel. Thus, one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and struggle harder or when to take your memories and move on. Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are today.

In other words, you are not what happened. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, breathe, and begin again.

2. BELIEF YOU HAVE TO LIVE BY ROLE MODELS.

Being kind to yourself in thoughts, words, and actions is just as important as being kind to others. Extend yourself this courtesy today. Love yourself — your real self. Work through your fears, your insecurities, and your anger (scream into the pillow and at therapy — not into the mirror, nor the people you care about — they don’t deserve it.) Instead of hurting yourself by hiding from your problems, help yourself grow beyond them. That’s what self-care is all about. It’s about facing the inner issues that make you believe that you are less than you are. It’s learning to see that you are already capable and beautiful. Not because you’re blind to your shortcomings, but because you know they have to be there to balance out your strengths.

3. YOU HAVE MISSED THE BUS

When you stay stuck in regret of the life you think you should have had, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have. Not all the puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time you’ll realize they do, almost perfectly. So thank the things that didn’t work out, because they just made room for the things that will. And thank the ones who walked away from you, because they just made room for the ones who won’t. As they say, every new beginning comes from another beginning’s end.

4. LISTENING TO THE  DOOM SAYERS AND CYNICS AROUND YOU.

To be reasonably positive in negative times is not just foolish optimism. It’s well grounded by the fact that human history is a history not only of tragedy, but also of success, sacrifice, courage, kindness, and growth. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine how well we live. If we look only for the worst, it destroys our capacity to do our best work. But if we also remember those times and places — and there are many — in which people have behaved magnificently, and things have gone well, this gives us the inspiration and energy to push forward with great intention and grace…

And when we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to sit around waiting for some grandiose and perfect future to celebrate. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live right now in defiance of all the negativity around us, is in itself an amazing victory. Yes, our lives are worth celebrating every step of the way, and life gets better and better when WE get better. So start investing in yourself mentally and physically. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day by building positive rituals and sticking to them. The stronger you grow and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.

5. WRONG BELIEF - I AM UNLUCKY UNLIKE OTHERS

Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? Because you’re not good enough, or you’ve already missed your chance, or it’s just not in the cards for you. You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t…

• “Maybe he’s an internet entrepreneur and freelance writer because he has no kids.”
• “Maybe she’s way fitter than I am because she doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a more supportive spouse, or doesn’t have bad knees.”

No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. NOW is the moment to actually step forward!

6. QUESTIONS AND THREATS TO YOUR UNIQUENESS

The truth is, there is no one correct path in life. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s OK. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, good or bad — it’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look exactly like anyone else’s because you aren’t exactly like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing and start living. You may not always end up where you intend to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time, right now. And trust yourself to make the best of it. 

7. SPENDING TIME BROODING OVER OPINIONS OTHERS HAVE YOU

People know your name, not your story. They’ve heard what you’ve done, but don’t understand what you’ve been through. So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt. In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts the most. Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s right for you and your life, without giving a darn what your life looks like to everyone who doesn’t even know you.

8. I CANNOT HANDLE TOXICS AND PEOPLE WHO PUT ME DOWN 

Not all toxic relationships are agonizing and uncaring on purpose. Some of them involve people who care about you — people who have good intentions, but are toxic because their needs and way of existing in the world force you to compromise yourself and your happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people to be spending time with every day. And as hard as it is, we have to distance ourselves enough to give ourselves space to live.

You simply can’t ruin yourself on a daily basis for the sake of someone else. You have to create boundaries and make your well-being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone, loving a family member from a distance for a little while, letting go of a friendship, or removing yourself from a daily situation that feels painful — you have every right to create some healthy space for yourself. 

9. SICKNESS OF OVERTHINKING AND OVER-ANALYSING 

When your worries and fears have you looking too deep into things, it creates problems, it doesn’t fix them. If you think and you think and you think, you will think yourself right out of happiness a thousand times over, and never once into it. Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential. And life is just too short for that.

So when you catch yourself going down a rabbit hole of worry, try using the simple phrase “The story I’m telling myself” as a prefix to your troubling thoughts. Here’s how it works: The story I’m telling myself can be applied to any difficult life situation or circumstance in which a troubling thought is getting the best of you. For example, perhaps someone you love (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.) didn’t call you or text you when they said they would, and now an hour has passed and you’re feeling upset because you’re obviously not a high enough priority to them. When you catch yourself feeling this way, use the phrase: The story I’m telling myself is that they didn’t call me because I’m not a high enough priority to them.

Then ask yourself these questions:

• Can I be absolutely certain this story is true?
• How do I feel and behave when I tell myself this story?
• What’s one other possibility that might also make the ending to this story true?

Give yourself the space to think it all through carefully.

Challenge yourself to think better on a daily basis — to challenge the stories you subconsciously tell yourself and do a reality check with a more objective mindset.

FINAL WORD

It’s always possible to go on, no matter how tough it seems. Remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and unsure, and you got through it. You can get through it this time too! And yet I know how incredibly hard it can feel. This is people knocked down and stuck in a rut behave . So if you’re feeling this way now — like it’s impossible to make significant progress today — you aren’t wrong for feeling what you feel. In many cases, you’re right: significant progress comes gradually with time and consistency. It’s all about taking one tiny positive step at a time, and staying the course…

Think about the fact that it only takes a one degree change in temperature to convert water to vapor, or ice to water. It’s such a tiny change — just one step in a different direction — and yet the results are dramatic. A tiny change can make all the difference in the world.

This same philosophy holds true in various aspects of our lives. The tiniest things we do each day — positive and negative alike — can make all the difference. They either bring us closer or farther away from where we ultimately want to be. Know this! And take the next tiniest step forward for yourself today.

 

With best compliments

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF FRIENDSHIP # BOOK YOUR COPY OF MY EBOOK

 

THE SELF TALK OF WINNERS # BUILD MENTAL STRENGTH

 

The Meta+Coach Model has its plinth over the REBT Model of Prof Albert Ellis. Self Talk recognition monitoring and re-programming is a tool for personal mastery. 

Mental strength is more than just enduring hardship—it’s about controlling thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in ways that lead to personal growth and resilience. Some people seem to quickly bounce back from personal failures and setbacks, while others find it much more difficult. When life knocks you down, are you quick to pick yourself up and adapt to the circumstances? Or do you find yourself completely overwhelmed with little confidence in your ability to deal with the challenge?

If you find yourself in the latter category, not to worry. Luckily there are many practical strategies for building mental resilience; it is a quality that can be learned and honed through practice, discipline and hard work.Our resilience is often tested when life circumstances change unexpectedly and for the worse — such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the end of a relationship. Such challenges, however, present the opportunity to rise above and come back even stronger than you were before.

Mentally strong people develop patterns of thinking that empower them to navigate challenges with confidence and poise. One way this mental strength is expressed is through their choice of words. Here are some key phrases mentally strong people often use, and how these phrases reflect their powerful mindset.

1.   1.  "I can handle this."

Mentally strong people trust their ability to deal with adversity. Rather than focusing on how difficult or unfair a situation is, they remind themselves that they have the capacity to manage the challenge. This phrase builds confidence and reduces anxiety, helping them to face obstacles head-on.

2. "I’m in control of how I respond."

While they can’t control everything around them, mentally strong individuals understand that they have power over their reactions. This phrase reflects their focus on personal accountability, allowing them to maintain emotional balance regardless of external circumstances.

3. "What can I learn from this?"

Rather than seeing mistakes or failures as setbacks, mentally strong people treat them as learning opportunities. This phrase encourages growth and prevents them from dwelling on negative experiences, fostering a mindset of continuous improvement.

4. "This too shall pass."

Understanding that difficult times are temporary is key to staying mentally resilient. Mentally strong individuals don’t allow themselves to be overwhelmed by challenges; instead, they remain patient and optimistic, knowing that even the toughest situations will eventually pass.

5. "I’m grateful for..."

Gratitude is a common practice among mentally strong people. Even in difficult situations, they find something to be thankful for. This helps them maintain perspective, shifting their focus from what’s going wrong to what’s still positive in their lives.

6. "No."

Saying “no” is an essential boundary-setting skill. Mentally strong people know that their time and energy are valuable, and they’re not afraid to decline requests or opportunities that don’t align with their goals or well-being. This simple word helps protect their mental and emotional health.

 7. "I’ll give it my best shot."

Mentally strong people are realistic about outcomes but committed to giving their all. This phrase reflects their willingness to try, even in the face of uncertainty. It also acknowledges that success is often the result of effort rather than guaranteed results, promoting perseverance.

8. "I’m not afraid to ask for help."

Acknowledging limitations isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. Mentally strong people are secure enough to seek assistance when needed, whether it’s for personal or professional matters. They understand that asking for help doesn’t diminish their abilities but enhances their growth and problem-solving skills.

9. "I’ll figure it out."

Rather than succumbing to stress or fear, mentally strong individuals approach problems with a solution-oriented mindset. This phrase reflects their confidence in their ability to navigate challenges, even when they don’t have all the answers upfront.

10. "I can improve."

Mentally strong people know that they are constantly evolving. They don’t settle for mediocrity or perfectionism but strive for steady progress. This phrase underscores their growth mindset, recognizing that there is always room for improvement and development.

Mental Strength is the capacity of an individual to deal effectively with stressors, pressures and challenges and perform to the best of their ability, irrespective of the circumstances in which they find themselves Building mental strength is fundamental to living your cherished life . Just as we go to the gym and lift weights in order to build our physical muscles, we must also develop our mental health through the use of mental tools and techniques. Optimal mental health helps us to live a life that we love, have meaningful social connections, and positive self image. It also aids in our ability to take risks, try new things, and cope with any difficult situations that life may throw at us.

Best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

 

 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & THE 21CENTURY WORKPLACE

 

Why EQ Matters in the Workplace

Why is emotional intelligence such a valued workplace skill? In a survey of hiring managers, almost 75% of respondents suggested that they valued an employee's EQ more than their IQ.

Emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a valuable skill that helps improve communication, management, problem-solving, and relationships within the workplace. It is also a skill that researchers believe can be improved with training and practice.

People With High EQ

• Make better decisions and solve problems
• Keep cool under pressure
• Resolve conflicts
• Have greater empathy
• Listen, reflect, and respond to constructive criticism

People With Low EQ

• Play the role of the victim or avoid taking responsibility for errors
• Have passive or aggressive communication styles
• Refuse to work as a team  
• Are overly critical of others or dismiss others' opinions

 

HOW CAN MANAGER  improve EQ?

It takes consistent effort and hard work to be more focused on your and others’ emotional well-being. Here are a few good places to start:

Practice understanding your own emotions.

Before you can understand and empathize with another person, you have to understand yourself. Keep a journal and regularly jot down how you’re feeling and why. Make small, measurable goals to increase your self-management, such as minimizing frustrated outbursts.

Connect with employees on a personal level.

When you demonstrate a willingness to help your employees and to recognize their efforts, you are leading with emotional intelligence, showing that you care about them as individuals. This act of caring builds trust between leaders and their employees.

Empathy has long been a soft skill that’s overlooked as a performance indicator. Our research, however, has shown that today’s successful leaders are showing kindness in the workplace and are more “person-focused,” making them better able to work well with people from varying teams, departments, countries, cultures, and backgrounds.

Unlock motivations.

As important as compensation and benefits are, we know they are not the only things that matter when it comes to keeping employees productive and engaged. These benefits are a part of a larger motivation equation.

Most of the time, understanding what motivates your employees is as easy as asking them — and really listening to their responses. Once you understand your employees’ motives, you can boost employee engagement and motivation, increase job satisfaction, and improve retention

Ask more questions and really listen. 

Asking questions is one of the best ways to learn about the people around you. But only if you listen. Try to ask employees questions such as, “How are you really doing?” or, “What can I do to make your job easier?” Listen to their

When you have one-on-ones, make sure employees are talking 80% of the time and you’re only talking 20% of the time. Employees need to feel comfortable opening up to you.

Listen closely and withhold judgement.

It all starts with having strong active listening skills, and striving to try to see the world as others see it. Really listen to, and consider, their perspective, keeping your attitude as open as possible to create a safe space for sharing and a sense of psychological safety at work.

Work to understand the other person’s feelings and reflect them back to the person. As you listen, pay close attention to the values and emotions behind the facts themselves. Communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings to assure people that their feelings and values are really understood.

 

.

Seek to understand more about others and yourself.

Leading with emotional intelligence requires managers to harness the power of their employees’ diverse experiences and consider people’s different lived experiences to help their teams achieve their full potential.

Your ability to understand where your employees are coming from — including their social identity and how their experiences may have informed their perspectives — demonstrates a willingness to see the world as others see it, without standing in judgment.

Even if you have high emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness, it’s not easy to get to know every employee below the surface. It’s challenging to see the world as others see it and to accept a variety of perspectives in a nonjudgmental way.

Building those skills requires understanding how aspects of identity can affect the way you lead, and a willingness to learn and recognize your own emotional triggers and weaknesses. Leader effectiveness is constrained or amplified based on how well leaders understand themselves, their awareness of how others view them, and how they navigate the resulting interactions.So, intentionally increasing your self-awareness is sure to help you improve your emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness. 

Help employees achieve their goals. Even if you struggle to understand the feelings employees have, you can still help them do what matters to them. If your employees are passionate or interested in any sort of work-related goal or improvement, do what you can to help them accomplish it.

Ask for and welcome feedback. As a leader, you need to understand how you’re perceived by others. Three-hundred-sixty-degree feedback is a great way to see what you’re good at and where you can improve.

 

A FINAL WORD

Emotional intelligence is central to the success of any organization, team and individual leader – and can be an especially beneficial characteristic during challenging times. Managers and leaders need to learn how to really listen to, empathize with, and support their employees. As we strive to improve our emotional intelligence, we will be better leaders.

One other reason that leading with emotional intelligence is so important: when an entire organization is full of people leading with emotional intelligence front and center, it can create a stronger culture.

Conversations, even hard ones, are more honest, productive, and respectful. Everyone feels a strong sense of belonging and ownership. Empathy and inclusion are particularly imperative for organizational diversity initiatives to be successful.

So, are you and your organization investing in developing the critical “soft skill” of leading with emotional intelligence?

With best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

FOUNDER META+COACH MODEL

META+COACH grooms the META+MANAGER -

 OWN A 36 HOURS WORKDAY

There are lots of great tips for time management. Here’s one of the more comprehensive lists available. Just look for the tips you need, and note the rest to add to your general management training knowledge. Dive deeper on some of these tips, if necessary, by doing a few Google searches to gather more detailed advice on the points that apply to your needs.

1. Set Specific Goals.

To achieve your goals, you need to decide what they are. Then, you can more easily filter out all the distractions, quit spending time on low-value pursuits and time-wasters that eat up your time, and apply a more centred perspective to deciding what’s worth adding to your schedule.

2. Organise Your Schedule.

Use your calendar for recording appointments, tracking deadlines, blocking time for various work, and other scheduled tasks and external activities. Decide on the best dates to schedule various types of activities. Add a running To Do List, to carry forward from day to day, and eliminate those tasks in order of priority.

3. Plan Your Week in Advance.

Having a plan laid out at the start of the week allows you greater flexibility to manage your days. It gives you a generally set framework of priorities, making it easier to visualise and utilise your total bandwidth.

4. Plan Your Day in Advance.

At the start of your day, list everything you want to accomplish TODAY. Pull items from your calendar and your To Do List, to populate your TODAY list, or just highlight items on the running To Do List.

5. Give Up on the Multitasking Myth.

Harvard Business Review offers insights dispelling the virtues of multitasking as a management methodology. Don’t get swept up in the typical sense of over-confidence in an ability to do many tasks simultaneously and deliver quality.

6. Declutter Your Environment.

A tidy workspace can’t solve all problems, but it can make it easier to find your stuff. That’s a timesaver. It’s okay to do it gradually, a drawer here, a closet there. Or, just take the plunge and shape things up.

7. Give Up on Dreams of Perfection.

Know when the project is completed. Nudge toward perfection only to the extent that makes sense in terms of the amount of time you’re spending. At some point, the law of diminishing returns takes hold, which means you’re crossing the threshold of giving more than the total value you’re getting back.

8. Don’t Fixate on Small Details.

Don’t lose sight of the big picture of your mission. Don’t spin your wheels, mired in irrelevant details from any sources. Cut through the minutia and peripheral noise, and keep your eye on the prize.

9. Limit Time for Various Tasks.

Decide how much time you need to spend on various tasks. Setting some time limits can increase your efficiency, and it can help you plan for potential problems and plan a strategy for solving those.

10. Don’t Wait to Feel Inspired Before Acting.

Keep perspective. You don’t need to feel like doing every task you need to do, in order to do it. Recognise your uninspired attitude toward an undesirable task, and just reject its power to prevent you from moving forward. To borrow a phrase, “Just do it!”

11. Figure Out When You’re Best at Doing Your Hardest Tasks.

Current wisdom says do your most challenging tasks in the morning, when you’re most rested and ready for challenges of the day. This arrangement is likely to work best for you too. But, if you find you’re better off starting with getting lots of smaller tasks out of the way and fielding incoming issues, then ramp up for the big challenges through the morning and maybe do those right after lunch.

12. Eliminate Distractions.

Turn off devices, if necessary, limit email correspondence, if you find it’s cutting too much into your productivity. Eliminate other distractions.  Think about what conditions seem to help you stay on track, and try to set those up to help you manage your daily routine. See Entrepreneur magazine’s great list of suggestions for eliminating distractions at work.

13. Give up Bad Habits.

Bad habits waste time. Being stuck on playing games, popping between social sites, too much bar time, all take time you could use to do what you really love, pursue your dreams. Turn off alerts for social posts during work hours, limit the drinking time, and focus on getting what you want.

14. Do Daily Health & Fitness Activities.

Exercising every day leads to a better balanced life. Cut out toxic activities, foods and drinks, and you’ll multiply your stamina and focus, which enables better management of everything, including your time.

15. Decide What You Want to Accomplish, Before Meeting.

Determine what you need to accomplish in a meeting before it starts. You’ll save yourself and everyone in attendance from wasting valuable time, by being able to zero in on your goals for the meeting.

16. Get a Good Mentor for Guidance.

Rely on someone who has done and seen it all. Having someone to ask for advice and perspective can make it easier to keep yourself on track, keep your priorities in order, and manage your time wisely.

17. Take Mini Breaks Between Some Tasks.

The human brain has the capacity to focus efficiently for around an hour and a half without compromised quality of concentration. So, break for a few minutes every 90 minutes or so, to maximise your total productivity over the course of the day.

18. Make Good Use of Wait Time.

We all get stuck on hold, waiting in lines at airports, sitting in waiting rooms, hovering to talk to a decision-maker, and so on. You may have wished you could have all that time back. You can! Use it to return phone calls, answer emails with your phone, stretch, do isometric exercises, meditate, read reports or articles on your phone, catch up on news, listen to podcasts, etc.

19. Organise Your Email Files.

Waste less time in email by archiving, creating action labels, applying filters to auto-assign labels to incoming emails based on keywords or sender names.

20. Expand Your Mind.

Spend some time doing things outside your comfort zone. This is an essential practice embraced by most great leaders. It stimulates creativity, builds confidence, and expands perspective, all conducive to more creative time management and life skills.

21. Get Good Sleep.

Get sufficient sleep. Correct issues in your sleep environment to create a space that is conducive to sleeping well. Working without sufficient amounts and quality of sleep naturally negatively impacts productivity and quality over time and leads to burn out.

22. Schedule Down Time.

Remove yourself from fast-paced engagement, and use quiet time to support your creative processes. Find a serene place to close your eyes and meditate, or just to sit and reflect and generate insights.

23. Know When to Say No.

Time is a limited commodity. Don’t spend any of it on activities that don’t make sense for your mission. Learn to say, “I’ll check my calendar and let you know.” That will give you time to decide what to fit in.

24. Don’t be Oppressed by Your Phone.

If you are in a position to let your phone ring and go to voicemail, then do so when necessary. Don’t feel compelled to take every call and answer every email instantly. Turn off ringers and email alerts, if necessary.

25. Enjoy Your Life.

Forget obsessing about what’s not getting done each day. Just, stick with it, work at a steady pace, and insist on balance between work and personal time. Remember the sage old advice, “It’s about the journey…”

26. Delegate and Outsource.

Train others as necessary, and assign tasks that don’t require your personal involvement to get done well. Lightening your workload by delegating frees you to focus on more appropriate uses of your time.

27. Remember the 80-20 Principle.

The famed Pareto Principle, a.k.a. the “80-20 Rule” asserts that 80 percent of the results of your efforts comes from just 20 percent of your actions. Applying this principle, at least in some ratio, if not necessarily 80/20, you can probably eliminate a number of tasks from your list and be as, or more productive.

28. Maintain Your Calendar Online.

Having your calendar online affords you the unmatched flexibility to access it from any networked device, update it, share it, etc. This lets you avoid the time-consuming inconvenience of having to postpone scheduling until you can access your calendar later, then more spend time to follow-up with people to pin down dates and times.

29. Do Some Telecommuting.

We all feel the crush of time being lost during long commutes in traffic. If possible, consider telecommuting once or twice a week, to gain back many hours per year to add to your productivity.

30. Consume Inspiring Materials.

When you need a lift, listen to an inspiring seminar recording on YouTube. It can help you get pumped up for the next round of demands on your time and focus, during a fatiguing series of challenges.

31. Handle Like Tasks Together.

Schedule a block of time to handle emails, phone calls, approving batchable documents, reviewing reports, and other tasks that are similar. Task types require special ways of thinking. Reduce the collective time and energy it takes for your brain to keep readjusting .

32. Think Quality Over Quantity.

Don’t spread yourself too thin. Determine what really needs to be done, and concentrate only on the things that need your personal attention. Then, you can better focus on creative solutions and quality.

33. Develop Self-Control.

Work on your willpower. Feeling your sense of greater power over your own will can significantly improve your time management, overall professional performance, health and wellbeing, stress level, quality of life, and happiness. For example, turn off your phone, if you can’t stop checking social pages.

34. Save Copies of Your To Do Lists.

At the end of the week, revisit your spent To Do Lists, to appreciate your accomplishments, and take a little self-motivation from all you did to advance your mission. Congratulate yourself. Celebrate a little.

35: Practice Until You Build Good Habits.

Start using the time management tips above that pertain to your own leadership development needs. Keep practicing these, until you habituate them. Form a routine, a time management system, that you like and can maintain.

META+COACH and habit modification

Repetitive behavioural patterns cut their routes into the brain’s neural pathways. Fortunately, through repeating different behaviours, new habits can be formed. With commitment, even long-time habits can be replaced by better ones.

Improving time management skills is an ideal goal for undertaking with this rehabituation approach in mind. Decide on some simple but major changes you want to make in your way of managing your time, and commit to repeating your new time management behaviour until doing it the new way comes naturally to you. One-on-one leadership coaching may be your best available approach to habituating better time management habits.

Even the best leaders put things off sometimes, but chronic procrastination is a deeper problem that is likely to reflect self-control issues. Some procrastinators argue that they perform best when under pressure, but research indicates that that is typically false. Decisional procrastinators have difficulty making decisions. Perfectionists may delay facing the inevitable lack of perfection in their finished work. Thrill-seekers may squeeze themselves into a tight timeline, to experience an adrenaline rush. Classic avoiders may put off work, in fear of failure or fear of inability to sustain success that they might achieve.

Understanding why people procrastinate, have self-control issues, or motivation issues is the first step to improving your time management if you are struggling with leadership decision-making, or any of these issues leading to procrastination.

WAY FORWARD

Ultimately, time management comes down to being clear on what you really want to accomplish. Really wanting it is the natural generator of motivation. From there, it’s about weighing your priorities, to ensure that the way you spend your time is going to get you to your goal. That means eliminating non-priorities that are sucking time from your limited supply of it. Ask yourself  which items on your To Do list can make a meaningful difference for you, which can’t be delegated, which can wait, and which should really be discarded.

Be careful about what you commit to, and prioritise honouring the commitments you do make. Keeping your promises protects your relationships and your reputation, both of which are indispensable for a successful career and a rewarding life that you can thoroughly enjoy.

Practice finding what’s positive in every negative circumstance. Train yourself to look past obstacles to find solutions. Above all, stay focused on your goals. Keep thinking about them and talking about them. Visualise yourself accomplishing what you’ve set out to achieve. These are the ways of a driven individual. They’re conducive to a mindset that cuts through irrelevancies and stays fixed on what’s important, and sees the way to get it done, and does it.