DEFINE YOUR OWN VERSION OF HAPPINESS
Although they generally all agree on what happiness feels like—being
satisfied with life, being predominantly in a good mood, experiencing positive
emotions, feeling thrills and peak experience often, periods of sublime peace
etc. Psychologists or the gurus of
philosophy and self-help; have found it difficult to agree on the nature and
scope of happiness. a commonly accepted definition would be to say happiness is a state characterized
by contentment and general satisfaction with one’s current situation. It has to
be distinguished from pleasure which is
a more visceral, in-the-moment experience.
So we may argue that happiness, while not a permanent state, is a more
stable state than pleasure. The list includes momentous sensory-based feelings
we get from experiences like eating good food, getting a massage, receiving a
compliment, or having a fun ride at the amusement park. Happiness generally
sticks around for longer than a few moments at a time, whereas pleasure can
come and go in seconds. But there is a correlation…pleasure can contribute to
happiness, and happiness can enhance or deepen feelings of pleasure, but the
two can also be completely mutually exclusive.
happiness is the state of
feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. As
an executive coach I ask my coaches … Can happiness and work do not always go
hand in hand? Extensive survey and employee feedback polls have found that the
number of people happily engaged at work are less the 15 % Those who do rate themselves as happy are
more motivated, more energized, and definitely more productive than their unhappy counterparts. For example, a challenging
task can give your deep engagement ; even
more with a satisfactory but incomplete task
completion which leads to deep meaning and engagement. Often the source of happiness is a struggle
with crisis and conquest of problems which gives you a deeper meaning of life and a more
lasting happiness than momentary thrills mentioned earlier.
LIFE IS …A SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS OR
MEANING ?
This leads us to a deeper level of analysis Happiness and meaning have
an even more distinct line between the two. Rarely are happiness and meaning
confused or used interchangeably, and for good reason—they describe two very
different experiences.
Humans may resemble many other creatures in their striving for
happiness, but the quest for meaning is a key part of what makes us human, and
uniquely so. it’s a more comprehensive sense of purpose and feeling of
contributing to something greater than yourself. Unlike happiness,
meaning is not a fleeting state that drifts throughout the day;.
Feeling good and
healthy was related to happiness or
finding one’s life easy or difficult may lead to happiness, but not meaning or fulfilment
. A lot of people with meaningful lives
agree that warm intimate relationships are more important than
achievements. Likewise helping people in adds both to happiness and meaning.
The person who receives a favour is happy but the giver has a deep sense of
fulfilment. Ironically Scarcity of money
may reduce happiness but may make a person more altruistic and
search for meaning in life after a big loss of fortune. Impulsive people who
seek pleasure through gambling or
intoxicants which is momentarily happy versus who do a lot of deep thinking even to become gloomy and aggrieved.
Spiritiualty can bring inner peace without material comfort; likewise
contemplation and seeing oneself as wise, creative, and even successful made
one both happy and more fulfilled .
Hence we see that all happiness (as distinct from pleasure) may not lead
to meaning. But strangely in some situations both happiness and meaning merge
each can contribute to the experience of the other This in turn may reinforce
in people the need to follow certain paths and behaviours like the great sage Gautama
Buddha that spiritually was a search for
what causes “sukh/dukh” (joy or sorrow).
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
Happiness actually has less to do with your
circumstances than you might think. Life circumstances have little to do with
happiness because much happiness is under your control—the product of your
habits and your outlook on life. Happiness is synthetic—you either create it,
or you don’t. Happiness is a choice- it is not
trying or finding, it’s deciding to be happy inspite of unfulfilled desires or
flaws in our situation at home or work; or setbacks of health and business
fortune. And making yourself happy doesn’t just
improve your performance; it’s also good for your health.
When it comes to making yourself happy, you
need to learn what works for you. Once you
discover this, everything else tends to fall into place. happiness can be a choice,
and it’s something you can practice. But if you’re feeling unhappy, that’s
not failure. However happiness is not something that simply falls into our laps
or that graces only the luckiest among us; rather, we make a choice to be
happy, and we continue to be happy for as long as we choose to be happy.
From this discussion, we can glean the essence : Happiness is a state of
well-being , not a predictable discernible character trait of a person, but a
more fleeting, changeable state. Happiness is equated with feeling pleasure or
contentment and fulfilment. This does not imply that happiness is to be
confused with joy, ecstasy, bliss, or other more intense and transitory feelings. Happiness can be either feeling or
showing, meaning that happiness is not necessarily an internal or external
experience, but can be both.
THE WAY FORWARD
Many factors determine the amount of
happiness and success that a person creates in their life. The key is
understanding that those things are created, meaning that you have control over
them. Most people go through life feeling like life is happening to them. But
the truth is, we all can be in the driver’s seat for how our life plays out. In
order to actively take that control, though, you have to identify and set the
values in your life.
From this discussion, we can glean the essence :Happiness is a state of well-being
, not a predictable discernible character trait of a person, but a more fleeting,
changeable state. Happiness is equated with feeling pleasure or contentment,
meaning that happiness is not to be confused with joy, ecstasy, bliss, or other
more intense and transitory feelings. Happiness
can be either feeling or showing, meaning that happiness is not necessarily an
internal or external experience, but can be both. Happiness
actually has less to do with your circumstances than you might think. Life
circumstances have little to do with happiness because much happiness is under
your control—the product of your habits and your outlook on life. Happiness is
synthetic—you either create it, or you don’t.
With best compliments
Dr Wilfred Monteiro
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