SELF TALK THERAPY
to reprogram your mind
WHAT IS SELF TALK ?
It’s the messages you have internalized in your
subconscious mind that generates either positive or negative thoughts about
yourself.Without even noticing it, your internal dialogue is at work during
every second of every day. From menial tasks such as meeting a deadline to
making important life decision, the way in which you think and talk to yourself
plays a huge role in the way that you live and feel. These thoughts then affect
various parts of your life, from your physical health status and your emotional
well being, to the way in which you view yourself and others.
WHY YOU NEED TO REPROGRAM YOUR SELF TALK?
Self-talk is generally
thought to be a mix of conscious and unconscious beliefs and biases that we
hold about ourselves and the world generally. It was Sigmund Freud who first
created the idea that we have both conscious and unconscious levels of thought,
with unconscious cognitive processes influencing our behavior in ways we don’t
realize
Self-talk can be positive
or negative – and paying attention to which you most often sway towards, can
help you start making proactive changes about how you take on life’s
challenges.
Since
it is part of the autonomous system of the human being it can be unstructured and
indisciplined and self-defeating. Just Like the yogis say your breathing is to
be regulated by ‘pranayam’ (known to westerners as breath therapy) Regulating your
Self-talk can similarly enhance your performance and general well-being.
NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Our patterns of self-talk
are sometimes negative – we focus on preconceived ideas that we’re ‘not good enough’ or ‘always a failure’ or ‘can’t do anything right’. Our brains
are hardwired to remember negative experiences over positive ones, so we recall
the times we didn’t quite get it right more than the times we do. We then
replay these messages in our minds, fuelling negative feelings.
POSITIVE SELF-TALK
Positive self-talk, as you
may have guessed, is the flip of negative self-talk. It’s not about narcissism,
or deceiving ourselves into thinking things that are inaccurate. It’s more
about showing yourself some self-compassion and understanding for who you are
and what you’ve been through. Positive self-talk sees our internal narrative
switching to ideas like ‘I can do
better next time’ or ‘I
choose to learn from my mistakes, not be held back by them’.
positive
self-talk and a more optimistic outlook can have other health benefits, including:
increased vitality, greater life satisfaction, improved immune function,
reduced pain, better cardiovascular health, better physical well-being, reduced
risk for death, less stress and distress. Optimists with more
positive self-talk certainly experience these benefits. Research has hard and
convincing evidence to show self-talk can help athletes with endurance and
eventually the success in the final event. People with positive self-talk develop
a mindset that allow them to solve
problems, think differently, and be more efficient at coping with hardships or
challenges.
SWITCHING FROM NEGATIVE TO POSITIVE SELF TALK?
In
order to change your inner dialogue, you must first identify whether you
practice positive or negative self-talk. If you can admit to it being the
latter, then it is time to make some small yet effective changes.
These
scenarios are examples of when and how you can turn negative self-talk into
positive self-talk. Again, it takes practice. Recognizing some of your own
negative self-talk in these scenarios may help you develop skills to flip the
thought when it occurs.
1.
Negative: I’ll disappoint
everyone if I change my mind.
Positive: I have the power to
change my mind. Others will understand.
2.
Negative: I failed and
embarrassed myself.
Positive: I’m proud of myself
for even trying. That took courage.
3.
Negative: I’m overweight and
out of shape. I might as well not bother.
Positive: I am capable and strong,
and I want to get healthier for me.
4.
Negative: I let everyone on my
team down when I didn’t score.
Positive: Sports are a team
event. We win and lose together.
5.
Negative: I’ve never done this
before and I’ll be bad at it.
Positive: This is a wonderful
opportunity for me to learn from others and grow.
6.
Negative: There’s just no way
this will work.
Positive: I can and will give it my
all to make it work.
Loving or hating the life you are living is solely all in your repeated self-talk. Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.
Positive self-talk is to emotional pain as pain pill is to
physical pain. The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to
yourself and others), IS A CHOICE! You may have spent your whole life talking
about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue
that path. So WATCH OUT what you tell yourself, you’re likely to
believe it AND EVEN MAKE IT YOUR SELF CONCEPT
META+COACH
PROGRAM & SELF TALK
META+COACH model uses the REBT model espoused by Dr Albert Ellis and Prof K M Phadke the pioneer in REBT in India I learnt about this fascinating therapy in the year 1983 when the founder Dr Albert Ellis visited India.
My experience using REBT since 1998 handling different coachees has 2
highlights to share with you
- A quality circle facilitator having training in presentation skills to become a trainer was having an acute mind-block making the act of facing an audience impossible. A series of coaching sessions using REBT and self-talk solutions helped him to over the problem to become a successful presenter
- A newly qualified MBA from a premier B-School and working for a MNC was feeling the jitter to make the sales call; albeit his education and the knowledge of the business. He would simple be sweating profusely to make a pathetic picture before the prospect. REBT based coaching and self-talk solutions using a list of affirmations which we jointly have drawn up. This was the breakthrough which resulted in him crossing the threshold. A year later he began to laugh a his past predicament when he had become a proficient sales professional
With best wishes
Dr Wilfred Monteiro
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