Achieving any goal requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself.

 

THE MINDSET OF A WINNER IN LIFE

Why some people succeed and others don’t

 

 BUILD YOUR WILLPOWER MUSCLE

Perseverance  is a willingness to - commit to long term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher . The good news is, if you aren’t particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack persistence and constancy of purpose;  more often than not believe that they just don’t have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking …. well, there’s no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good tacts  are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.

 Your self-control “muscle” is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn’t get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals. To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you’d honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don’t. It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that’s the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.

No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it’s important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. Don’t try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don’t put yourself in harm’s way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.

 

GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS. 

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and worse still what the media thinks is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

THE WAY AHEAD

It is my hope that, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember, you don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It’s never what you are, but what you do.

 

Focus on getting better, rather than being perfect you will set realistic and achievable goals. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won’t improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.

 

Know exactly how far you have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don’t know how well you are doing, you can’t adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal. Let the first quarter the first 90 days be the first milestone to measure your success and get the year to a flying start.

With best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

 

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What personal qualities do top coaches possess that separate them from the good coach?

HOW A SUCCESSFUL COACH

 BUILDS A RELATIONSHIP

What makes for an excellent coach? What personal qualities do top coaches possess that separate them from the good coach? Is it more the training or the inner qualities? Is it more coaching technique or the artistry? Is it more coaching knowledge or its application? Is it more natural talent for helping people or cultivated abilities? Is it insightful analysis of people or an abiding presence with them?

I have conducted my signature program BECOME AN EXECUTIVE COACH  umpteen times for client companies who want to carry on the coaching style of leadership and employee development.  I have been asked at the Valedictory Event what are the top attributes of successful executive coaches. Here is my impromptu list …

1. Exquisite self awareness-  You practice this like a Zen Monk humble, open, nurturing and grateful to the world.

2. High emotional intelligence – you can empathize with the coachee and are perceptive, intuitive, curious and inquiring. You have a sincere interest in clients and desire to help.

3. Broad vision with focus on important details- Executive Coaching is co partnership to solve business related problems not an unloading of advice or knowledge See coaching as a two way interchange of energies and learnings.

4. Superb Communication- Nuanced, crisp suggestions and hints in the form of provocative or exploratory open ended questions and sharp comments to spark insight 

5. Treat the Coachee as an Equal- Highest regard, caring and respect for clients. David Ogilviy said 50 years ago “… the customer is not a moron; she is as intelligent as your wife ….” Here your customer is the coachee you are the Servant Leader!!

6. With too may quack “certificate holders”  in the market; you can only stand out in the crowd by being a creative, innovative learner and developer of custom coaching methodologies. You have a capacity for deep and wide learning as a student of coaching and other disciplines that support helping others. Continuous learner of themselves and their experiences.

There probably is no one single attribute that all excellent coaches possess. Top flight coaches can be comprised of many stripes and can come from many places, but they all connect with their charges, they know how to make changes with them and they know how to get results. Bottom line, they get the work done.  You view coaching as a calling, an art and a discipline. However the style and conduct of the coaching sessions is the crux of the coaching relationship and the results one can expect:

A good coach should be able to…

1.    He has to be e clear right in the beginning of the intervention about t learning and development objectives.

2.    Avoid ‘jumping in’ to coaching until they have a relationship working with the person being coached (and never stop working on the relationship until they stop coaching).

3.    Be clear about the impact of your own behavior on the coachee. He must show good, sound judgment about which information to use with the coachee and whether the timing is right to share other, more sensitive information with him or her;

4.    How integrity by  follow through on promises or agreements Be available when needed by the individual and offer their time. Continually show that you have the coachee’s best interests in mind. 

5.    Communicate high expectations for individuals and have faith in their abilities to perform well. Raise the individual’s status. They should know the individual being coached is likely to say things that the coach wants to hear, more than they would to a co-worker, spouse, or friend. Avoid comparing the performance of the person they are coaching to the performance of someone else (or treat each individual as a unique situation and adjust their coaching style accordingly).

6.    When they do not know the answer to a question, admit it and offer to find the answer and provide it at the next coaching session (or sooner).Relate their real life experiences and stories (when doing so, using “I” and not the generic “you” to talk about themselves).Admit failure. A good coach should be therefore able to ‘model’ a key component of lifelong learning by being honest with their own performances and using them as an opportunity for learning.

7.    Honestly examine the role they should be playing. They should examine whether they want to be a constant nag, a bully, a friend, a critic, a mentor, a leader, a teacher, a manager, a counselor, a disciplinarian, or a role-model? Or even play multiple roles?

8.    Avoid assuming that the individual’s reluctant or nervous responses are merely signs of resistance and defensiveness to be simply ignored or overcome just because they are different from what they may want him or her to say. These statements should ideally be seen as genuine and valuable indicators of how an individual feels and may offer clues on possible future remedial actions that can be taken.

9.    Be willing to “lead from example” or to be an “exemplar” (modeling the desired behavior and not expecting the person being coached to do something they will not do themselves.

CONCLUDING

Before a coaching relationship is agreed, it is important to have an introductory session. During this session both the coach and the client will have an informal conversation about how the coaching could work, the primary goal of this meeting is to establish if the qualities and personalities of both parties match.

The masker key is however is : HAVE A PASSION for coaching and show an interest in the client and in developing them.  By being passionate about coaching and by believing in the coaching benefits this comes across in a positive way during your sessions. The client must believe that you are confident in your abilities and that you will be able to help them in their ultimate goal of change.

Best of luck

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

What are leadership blind spots?...unproductive behaviors that are hidden from ourselves but are glaring to everyone else, mainly our followers and our business rivals .

META+COACH SESSION #1 Discover your leadership blind spots What are leadership blind spots?...unproductive behaviors that are hidden from ourselves  but are glaring to everyone else, mainly our followers and our business rivals . To succeed as a manager, you need to learn how to recognize your blind spots and overcome them. Too often, leaders demonstrate behaviors that let down their success and consequently both their team and their organization. What are leadership blind spots?...unproductive behaviors that are hidden from ourselves  but are glaring to everyone else, mainly our followers and our business rivals . Our behavioral blind spots could create bad and unintended consequences: They corrupt decision-making, reduce our scope of awareness, create enemies,  divide teams into warring camps, destroy careers, and sabotage business results. No one is immune to blind spots, of course. But leaders are particularly vulnerable. It's enough that they must often navigate massive change and cope with stressful situations every day. But add to this the overpowering belief that many leaders shoulder: "I should have all the answers, I should know what to do, and I should be able to handle challenges alone." For many, the need to be right becomes much stronger than the need to be effective. And only the most confident leaders are willing to surround themselves with people who will point out what they're doing wrong—and be rewarded for their honesty. More often, everyone is forced to endure the boss' weaknesses in silence. Blind spots are not flaws; nor are they malicious. They are automatic behaviors. The real culprits are not the blind spots themselves. The problem is when they are unidentified and mismanaged. There are 10 blind spots that persistently knock people off the career ladder and undermine organizational performance. Below are ones that I have come across most often in my work as a management consultant (www.synergymanager.net) Share the Burden  The first is the instinct to go it alone. In my experience, that is the No. 1 blind spot. It's an obvious danger, when dealing with self-sufficient, independent leaders who have a need to be perceived as strong and tough. If you have a tendency to shoulder the burdens of life by yourself and unintentionally exclude others—colleagues, friends, and even family—then you need to be aware that this is a blind spot. Some of the symptoms of going-it-alone include rejecting offers of support, refusing to ask for help, not talking about your stress, pressure, or anxiety, isolating and withdrawing in group situations, and not including others in your thinking or in decision-making. You may think that your independent streak is a sign of strength. In actual fact, your behavior leaves others feeling frustrated, angry, and devalued. People view you as missing in action and acting as a team of one. Instead of empowering your team, you undercut it by refusing to share responsibilities, information, and decision-making. Your employees lose their enthusiasm, and you lose their support. The second blind spot that I have frequently encountered  is the tendency of leaders to be insensitive to their impact on others. They're simply unaware of the damage their behavior can create. They have a low threshold for picking up on the reactions of others, perhaps because they have never bothered themselves too much with what others think. Impact Awareness  The potential dangers of insensitivity become more critical when you are in a position of importance eg Head of a Dept / SBU head or finally even the CEO. Suddenly, you control the destiny of people around you. If you're making repeated blunders that you don't even see, there's little option for your team but to walk out the door. If this blind spot applies to you, your intentions may be positive but your behavior is ineffective. The rub is that people judge you by your behavior, not by your intentions. Symptoms include expecting others to respond the same way you do, not recognizing cultural differences, and dismissing feedback from others about your behavior. When you are insensitive to others, people tend to withdraw their trust. They'll work around you. At best, they may tolerate you. Others may marginalize you and, if they can, ultimately fire you. Sensitivity isn't about being soft. It's about being aware of the signals and needs and contributions of the people around you. It's critical to effective leadership. WITH BEST COMPLIMENTS DR WILFRED MONTEIRO THE META+COACH www.synergymanager.net

the gist of a address at the inuagural of a sales conference of a pan india multinational

SIX KEYS FOR CAREER GROWTH : 

FROM SALES FRONTLINER

 TO NATIONAL SALES MANAGER

(the gist of a address at the inuagural of a sales conference of a pan india multinational )

 

  

KEY ONE; BELEIVE IN YOURSELF

The Self Doubter: A sales rep that sees and believes everything they do is wrong. These frontliner are extremely challenging to coach. If you provide direct feedback it may be met with “I already do that” or reasons why they don’t. The Self Doubter perceives any critiquing as weakness and personalizes it as confirmation that they are doing a horrible job!
 
The trick with this type of individual is to lead them through a process of self-discovery and improvement. By asking them a series of questions you can guide them through a process of self-awareness that will lead to an “ah ha” moment. This breakthrough may seem labour-intensive, but the payback is a stronger rep and increased performance.
 
 
KEY TWO: Proactively Manage your Boss
 Your boss is no different than you. All bosses want to know two things: one, that you know what your issues are and, two, that you are doing something about them. Put yourself in your boss’s shoes. S/he has enough to worry about. If your boss is spending time wondering what you are doing about your issues than they are really questioning  whether  you  are  effectively doing your job.
 
Before your boss figures out your issues, communicate and demonstrate that you have a plan to proactively address them yourself. Remember, the best defence is an offence.
 
 
KEY THREE: Manage Your Own Motivation
 Welcome  to  management.  As  a  rep  you  lived  in  a highly supportive environment. In management the environment is less supportive and filled with stress. It is incumbent on you to stay inspired so you can inspire your sales people. The word inspiration comes from the Latin word “spiarae” which means to breathe, to live. I have found that there are many ways to keep oneself motivated. You can read a leadership book or take a leadership course. Make sure you take care of yourself, take mental health days, exercise and eat well.
 
Regardless which options you choose, it is essential that you stay inspired because your people need your energy as a source of motivation.
 
 
KEY FOUR : LET YOUR ATTITUDE LEAD YOU
 
OK, you have two candidates that you really like. One knows the products, customers and the industry. The other candidate is passionate, driven and eager to prove them selves. The easy answer for a busy manager is to hire the sales rep that comes with all the experience. But have you  thought  about  what  else they bring  to  the table? Have you considered the infamous industry baggage?
 
The experienced rep may be easier on the manager for the first 6 months whereas the driven rep will have a slower start, but in 6 months he/she will likely have achieved better sales. Hire attitude over aptitude!
 
 
 
 
KEY FIVE : COMMIT AND SWEAR BY YOUR PERSONAL GOALS
 
To increase the chance that your sales frontliner will achieve a goal they have set for themselves it is critical to have them commit their plan to paper, write it down! When people put pen to paper it has two key benefits. Firstly, they have thought out what specific activities/steps they need to do to achieve their goal(s) and secondly the process of writing crystallizes in the brain what they intend  to  do.  This  speaks  to  commitment.  With  a written commitment the sales rep takes ownership of the outcome.
  
KEY SIX: SHARPEN YOU SELLING TECHNQIUES AFTER EVERY SALES CALL
 
Time and time again I have seen it. Sales frontliner going through  their  daily  activities  like  robots.  They  have little impact on each call, they just show up and expect the business. I call this “failure to impact syndrome.” It is contagious and can spread throughout an entire sales force. It works as long as the business grows. Everyone gets high fives and there is no need to dig any deeper.But what happens when sales are down and senior management starts  asking questions?  Sales  managers struggle to come up with the answers and frontliner get nervous.The cure: Get out in the field and inspire your frontliner to be innovative.SO IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS EVERY SALES MANAGER IS A SALES COACH

 

with best compliments

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

the meta+coach

 

7 STEPS TO BUILDING A COACHING DEVELOPMENT PLAN:

7 STEPS TO BUILDING A COACHING DEVELOPMENT PLAN:

1st  Set  the  tone. If you’re initiating the relationship, establish

that coaching isn’t a sign  that the other person is lacking in some critical skill or doing something wrong. In fact,  coaching means that you  see untapped potential in the other person and are invested in that person’s success at work.

2nd   Establish the  goals. You and the other person must

set the goals for the relationship. As the coach in the relationship, you  have two responsibilities in goal setting. One  is to identify the goals you  would like to see the other person achieve. The other responsibility is to solicit from  the other person what goals they want to work  toward. Without your  active solicitation, you may  end up being the only  person setting the goals, which moves you  back to the boss/employee relationship.

3rd Set  responsibilities. The two of you  must then decide how you  can  help  each other develop. As a coach, you  have an additional responsibility beyond what you  agree to in this part of the plan.  You must also  model the desired behaviours you  want to see—you must “walk your talk.” If you  don’t model the behaviour you  want to help  develop, then your  credibility and your effectiveness as a coach are diminished.

4th  Define the  process. At a minimum, the two of you  must decide when, where and how  often you’ll meet to check in with each other. One  caveat: coaching isn’t about friendship. You can be friendly, but coaching is about improving performance at work. As part of deciding how  you’ll work  together, you  must also decide how  you’ll address conflict (and there will be conflict).

5th   Acknowledge what you will get. You’ll probably learn a great deal from  the coaching relationship. Make sure that you acknowledge the benefits that you  expect to get. For instance, being able to conduct “difficult” conversations (conversations that include criticism) is an invaluable skill. If you  intend to develop that skill as part of this  coaching relationship, point out that you  will be using this  opportunity to practice in a safe environment.

6th  Establish benchmarks. The plan  must include clear “measures of progress” and a schedule of when those measures will be met. Benchmarks provide both of you  with markers to determine how well things are going. However, be aware that not  reaching the benchmarks isn’t a sign  of failure—it just means that a timetable adjustment or course correction may  be needed.

7th   Review the  relationship. When looking at a course correction or the achievement of a major benchmark, take the time to assess if the coaching relationship should continue. If you  decide to discontinue the formal coaching relationship, be sure to debrief both the work  you  did  together and how  the co11aching experience enriched both of you