THE SELF TALK OF WINNERS # BUILD MENTAL STRENGTH

 

The Meta+Coach Model has its plinth over the REBT Model of Prof Albert Ellis. Self Talk recognition monitoring and re-programming is a tool for personal mastery. 

Mental strength is more than just enduring hardship—it’s about controlling thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in ways that lead to personal growth and resilience. Some people seem to quickly bounce back from personal failures and setbacks, while others find it much more difficult. When life knocks you down, are you quick to pick yourself up and adapt to the circumstances? Or do you find yourself completely overwhelmed with little confidence in your ability to deal with the challenge?

If you find yourself in the latter category, not to worry. Luckily there are many practical strategies for building mental resilience; it is a quality that can be learned and honed through practice, discipline and hard work.Our resilience is often tested when life circumstances change unexpectedly and for the worse — such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the end of a relationship. Such challenges, however, present the opportunity to rise above and come back even stronger than you were before.

Mentally strong people develop patterns of thinking that empower them to navigate challenges with confidence and poise. One way this mental strength is expressed is through their choice of words. Here are some key phrases mentally strong people often use, and how these phrases reflect their powerful mindset.

1.   1.  "I can handle this."

Mentally strong people trust their ability to deal with adversity. Rather than focusing on how difficult or unfair a situation is, they remind themselves that they have the capacity to manage the challenge. This phrase builds confidence and reduces anxiety, helping them to face obstacles head-on.

2. "I’m in control of how I respond."

While they can’t control everything around them, mentally strong individuals understand that they have power over their reactions. This phrase reflects their focus on personal accountability, allowing them to maintain emotional balance regardless of external circumstances.

3. "What can I learn from this?"

Rather than seeing mistakes or failures as setbacks, mentally strong people treat them as learning opportunities. This phrase encourages growth and prevents them from dwelling on negative experiences, fostering a mindset of continuous improvement.

4. "This too shall pass."

Understanding that difficult times are temporary is key to staying mentally resilient. Mentally strong individuals don’t allow themselves to be overwhelmed by challenges; instead, they remain patient and optimistic, knowing that even the toughest situations will eventually pass.

5. "I’m grateful for..."

Gratitude is a common practice among mentally strong people. Even in difficult situations, they find something to be thankful for. This helps them maintain perspective, shifting their focus from what’s going wrong to what’s still positive in their lives.

6. "No."

Saying “no” is an essential boundary-setting skill. Mentally strong people know that their time and energy are valuable, and they’re not afraid to decline requests or opportunities that don’t align with their goals or well-being. This simple word helps protect their mental and emotional health.

 7. "I’ll give it my best shot."

Mentally strong people are realistic about outcomes but committed to giving their all. This phrase reflects their willingness to try, even in the face of uncertainty. It also acknowledges that success is often the result of effort rather than guaranteed results, promoting perseverance.

8. "I’m not afraid to ask for help."

Acknowledging limitations isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. Mentally strong people are secure enough to seek assistance when needed, whether it’s for personal or professional matters. They understand that asking for help doesn’t diminish their abilities but enhances their growth and problem-solving skills.

9. "I’ll figure it out."

Rather than succumbing to stress or fear, mentally strong individuals approach problems with a solution-oriented mindset. This phrase reflects their confidence in their ability to navigate challenges, even when they don’t have all the answers upfront.

10. "I can improve."

Mentally strong people know that they are constantly evolving. They don’t settle for mediocrity or perfectionism but strive for steady progress. This phrase underscores their growth mindset, recognizing that there is always room for improvement and development.

Mental Strength is the capacity of an individual to deal effectively with stressors, pressures and challenges and perform to the best of their ability, irrespective of the circumstances in which they find themselves Building mental strength is fundamental to living your cherished life . Just as we go to the gym and lift weights in order to build our physical muscles, we must also develop our mental health through the use of mental tools and techniques. Optimal mental health helps us to live a life that we love, have meaningful social connections, and positive self image. It also aids in our ability to take risks, try new things, and cope with any difficult situations that life may throw at us.

Best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

 

 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & THE 21CENTURY WORKPLACE

 

Why EQ Matters in the Workplace

Why is emotional intelligence such a valued workplace skill? In a survey of hiring managers, almost 75% of respondents suggested that they valued an employee's EQ more than their IQ.

Emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a valuable skill that helps improve communication, management, problem-solving, and relationships within the workplace. It is also a skill that researchers believe can be improved with training and practice.

People With High EQ

• Make better decisions and solve problems
• Keep cool under pressure
• Resolve conflicts
• Have greater empathy
• Listen, reflect, and respond to constructive criticism

People With Low EQ

• Play the role of the victim or avoid taking responsibility for errors
• Have passive or aggressive communication styles
• Refuse to work as a team  
• Are overly critical of others or dismiss others' opinions

 

HOW CAN MANAGER  improve EQ?

It takes consistent effort and hard work to be more focused on your and others’ emotional well-being. Here are a few good places to start:

Practice understanding your own emotions.

Before you can understand and empathize with another person, you have to understand yourself. Keep a journal and regularly jot down how you’re feeling and why. Make small, measurable goals to increase your self-management, such as minimizing frustrated outbursts.

Connect with employees on a personal level.

When you demonstrate a willingness to help your employees and to recognize their efforts, you are leading with emotional intelligence, showing that you care about them as individuals. This act of caring builds trust between leaders and their employees.

Empathy has long been a soft skill that’s overlooked as a performance indicator. Our research, however, has shown that today’s successful leaders are showing kindness in the workplace and are more “person-focused,” making them better able to work well with people from varying teams, departments, countries, cultures, and backgrounds.

Unlock motivations.

As important as compensation and benefits are, we know they are not the only things that matter when it comes to keeping employees productive and engaged. These benefits are a part of a larger motivation equation.

Most of the time, understanding what motivates your employees is as easy as asking them — and really listening to their responses. Once you understand your employees’ motives, you can boost employee engagement and motivation, increase job satisfaction, and improve retention

Ask more questions and really listen. 

Asking questions is one of the best ways to learn about the people around you. But only if you listen. Try to ask employees questions such as, “How are you really doing?” or, “What can I do to make your job easier?” Listen to their

When you have one-on-ones, make sure employees are talking 80% of the time and you’re only talking 20% of the time. Employees need to feel comfortable opening up to you.

Listen closely and withhold judgement.

It all starts with having strong active listening skills, and striving to try to see the world as others see it. Really listen to, and consider, their perspective, keeping your attitude as open as possible to create a safe space for sharing and a sense of psychological safety at work.

Work to understand the other person’s feelings and reflect them back to the person. As you listen, pay close attention to the values and emotions behind the facts themselves. Communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings to assure people that their feelings and values are really understood.

 

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Seek to understand more about others and yourself.

Leading with emotional intelligence requires managers to harness the power of their employees’ diverse experiences and consider people’s different lived experiences to help their teams achieve their full potential.

Your ability to understand where your employees are coming from — including their social identity and how their experiences may have informed their perspectives — demonstrates a willingness to see the world as others see it, without standing in judgment.

Even if you have high emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness, it’s not easy to get to know every employee below the surface. It’s challenging to see the world as others see it and to accept a variety of perspectives in a nonjudgmental way.

Building those skills requires understanding how aspects of identity can affect the way you lead, and a willingness to learn and recognize your own emotional triggers and weaknesses. Leader effectiveness is constrained or amplified based on how well leaders understand themselves, their awareness of how others view them, and how they navigate the resulting interactions.So, intentionally increasing your self-awareness is sure to help you improve your emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness. 

Help employees achieve their goals. Even if you struggle to understand the feelings employees have, you can still help them do what matters to them. If your employees are passionate or interested in any sort of work-related goal or improvement, do what you can to help them accomplish it.

Ask for and welcome feedback. As a leader, you need to understand how you’re perceived by others. Three-hundred-sixty-degree feedback is a great way to see what you’re good at and where you can improve.

 

A FINAL WORD

Emotional intelligence is central to the success of any organization, team and individual leader – and can be an especially beneficial characteristic during challenging times. Managers and leaders need to learn how to really listen to, empathize with, and support their employees. As we strive to improve our emotional intelligence, we will be better leaders.

One other reason that leading with emotional intelligence is so important: when an entire organization is full of people leading with emotional intelligence front and center, it can create a stronger culture.

Conversations, even hard ones, are more honest, productive, and respectful. Everyone feels a strong sense of belonging and ownership. Empathy and inclusion are particularly imperative for organizational diversity initiatives to be successful.

So, are you and your organization investing in developing the critical “soft skill” of leading with emotional intelligence?

With best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

FOUNDER META+COACH MODEL