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WINNERS IN LIFE reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

NINE  things winners do Differently 

to stay ahead of the crowd

Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals in 2016, but not others? If you aren’t sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research on personal growth achievement suggests that  WINNERS IN LIFE reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

1.BEGIN AFRESH- BE FULLY ALIVE IN THE NOW

WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY IF YOU WERE TO LIVE THE BYGONE YEAR 2016 ALL OVER AGAIN??? Good question but how much will you retrospect  and many days of 2017 will you look in the rear view mirror? Give up the past.  It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present.

Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

2.WORK ON THE INSIDE FIRST

Give up your self-defeating self-talk. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly! A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind

Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that most of the time are not even real.

3.KEEP YOU EYE ON THE BALL AND ALWAYS  ACT ON YOUR GOALS. 

Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it’s not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Do first things first (only saying) and second things never. Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers...and deciding to avoid some of dubious value which don’t really add to your overall success. To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., “If it’s Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I’ll clear my desk  for 30 minutes before work.”) Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.

4.BE A REALISTIC OPTIMIST. REPROGRAM THE MIND

When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do, don’t underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.

·         Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

·         Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

·         Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

6.BUILD YOUR WILLPOWER MUSCLE

Perseverance  is a willingness to - commit to long term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher . The good news is, if you aren’t particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack persistence and constancy of purpose;  more often than not believe that they just don’t have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking …. well, there’s no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good tacts  are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.

 Your self-control “muscle” is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn’t get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals. To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you’d honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don’t. It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that’s the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.

No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it’s important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. Don’t try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don’t put yourself in harm’s way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.

7.FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WILL DO 

To give an example  to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about black cats!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.

If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, WHAT WILL I DO INSTEAD? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely

8.GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS. 

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and worse still what the media thinks is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9.ACCEPT THE V.U.C.A. WORLD

VUCA  is a buzz word and rightly so for today. it stands for four forces ruling us today. Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity And Ambiguity Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be open to a new idea?” . What difference will that make to your mental horizon?

An Uncertain World means you need to give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.”  Said Lao Tzu the ancient Chinese sage. A Complex and Ambiguous World means you need to give up any resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move to the next level of sucess. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. Follow your conscience on what’s right for you  and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls

THE WAY AHEAD IN 2020

It is my hope that, after reading about the seven things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember, you don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It’s never what you are, but what you do.

Focus on getting better, rather than being perfect you will set realistic and achievable goals. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won’t improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.

Know exactly how far you have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don’t know how well you are doing, you can’t adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal. Let the first quarter the first 90 days be the first milestone to measure your success and get the year to a flying start.

with best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro

DON’T MAKE RESOLUTIONS, MAKE HABITS INSTEAD Research says 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions are over by mid-February. JANUARY 19th is celebrated as Quitters Day.

CONSOLIDATE YOUR RESOLUTIONS

 FOR NEW YEAR 2020

What would you do differently if you were to live the bygone year 2019 all over again??? Good question but how much will you retrospect and many days of 2020 will you look in the rear view mirror?

Give up the past.  It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present.

In fact, decades of research on personal growth achievement suggests that  WINNERS IN LIFE reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

DON’T MAKE RESOLUTIONS, MAKE HABITS INSTEAD

Research says 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions are over by mid-February. JANUARY 19^th is celebrated as Quitters Day.

The first  and most important thing: FORGIVE YOURSELF. Don’t make resolutions, make habits instead. Hence resolutions are ideas  whereas habits are actions; actions we can control. Every person has already formed habits without even thinking. Some are good, such as my habit of eating breakfast every day before work or class, and some are not so good such as smoking, random snacking, mobile time wasters. The resolutions you set at the beginning of the year can either be done or not, but habits aren’t as static. They can change and adapt and grow at any time throughout the year. Humans change and adapt and grow, so our dreams and aspirations should do the same!

GET INTO ACTION- NOW

Focus on what you will do, not what you won’t do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about black cats!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.

If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, WHAT WILL I DO INSTEAD? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely

MIND GAMES: HOW CAN I GET OUT OF MY WAY?

The mind is a powerful thing. We can do big things when our mind is convinced we can do it. Know your go-to fears and how you can unknowingly sabotage yourself. I often ask my clients, “If anything gets in your way, what will it be?” Do you know the answer for yourself? A recent client’s answer was, “I’m impatient and want immediate results, and this goal will take some time.” The obvious next question was, “What happens when you don’t get results quickly enough?” You guessed it: “I move on to something else.” If immediate gratification is your kryptonite, break your dream into tiny pieces to feed your desire to see faster progress.

KEEP YOU EYE ON THE BALL AND ALWAYS  ACT ON YOUR GOALS. 

Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it’s not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Do first things first (only saying) and second things never. Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers...and deciding to avoid some of dubious value which don’t really add to your overall success. To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., “If it’s Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I’ll clear my desk  for 30 minutes before work.”) Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.

EXECUTION IS THE REAL TRICK TO CHANGE

New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Have to Be For a Full Year Why commit to 365 days when you haven’t even committed one day to your goal? Take your goals and habits a day at a time. Try doing your new thing every day for a week. Or 3 times a week for a month. Don’t set yourself up for failure by telling yourself you have to do something for a year. If you want to start going to the gym in the new year, try going once a week for a month. Then maybe try going 3 times a week for 2 months. Then 4 times a week for 6 months. Start small, both with your goals and your time. Starting small ensures a greater success rate.

Tell other people about your resolution. The more you put your plan out there, the more friends and family you'll have to help keep you accountable, . Surround yourself with supporters, not saboteurs. To set yourself up for max resolution success, surround with people who you know will support your efforts—and maybe even have similar goals themselves, suggests Ferrari. You don't have to avoid the enabler friends altogether, but by spending less time with them and more with the types of people who will encourage and support you, you'll be much more likely to stay on track.

FINAL WORD THE WAY AHEAD IN 2020

Begin afresh- be fully alive in the now. Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals in 2019, but not others? It is my hope that, after reading about these things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember, you don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It’s never what you are, but what you do.

Best wishes

Dr Wilfred Monteiro